Ben Sira, that wise sage whose teachings nearly made it into the Bible, had some thoughts on that. And let's be honest, who hasn't encountered someone like that?
Ben Sira cautions us: "Make not bold to be free (?) with him; And mistrust thou his much talk. For with his much talk maketh he trial of thee; And he will smile upon thee, and search thee out." In other words, be wary of those who are overly familiar. Their constant chatter might be a way of probing you, of figuring out your weaknesses. They might seem friendly, but their intentions could be far from pure. It’s a reminder to guard your heart, to not be too quick to trust.
Then comes a stark warning about those who are "cruel." Ben Sira says, "He that is cruel will speak peace (?) and spare not; While he plotteth a plot against the life of many." This is the wolf in sheep's clothing, the person who speaks of peace while secretly planning destruction. It’s a chilling thought, isn’t it? That someone could be so duplicitous.
"Take heed and beware; And go not with men of violence," he urges us. Simple, direct, and powerful.
Now, Ben Sira shifts gears a bit, delving into the idea of affinity. "All flesh loveth its kind; And every man him that is like unto him. The kind of all flesh consorteth therewith; And a man will have fellowship with his kind." It’s a natural inclination, isn’t it? Birds of a feather flock together. We tend to gravitate towards those who share our values, our interests, our general outlook on life.
But then comes the zinger, the question that really makes you think: "What fellowship shall wolf have with lamb? Such is the wicked to the righteous; And so is the rich unto a man that is destitute." It's a powerful image, this contrast between the predator and the prey. Can there truly be friendship, genuine connection, between those with such fundamentally different natures, or between those with vastly unequal power?
The wicked and the righteous, the rich and the destitute – these are not merely social categories. They represent different ways of being in the world, different sets of values. And Ben Sira is suggesting that these differences can create a chasm that’s difficult, if not impossible, to bridge.
So, what do we take away from this ancient wisdom? Perhaps it's a reminder to be discerning in our relationships, to not be swayed by smooth talk or false promises. To recognize that true connection requires a foundation of shared values and mutual respect. And maybe, just maybe, to be a little more like the lamb and a little less like the wolf. After all, as we find throughout Jewish tradition, from the prophets to the rabbis, pursuing tzedek (righteousness) and working to create a more just world is always the most worthwhile path.