King David did. And his feelings echo across the millennia to us.
Psalm 119:19 says, "I am a stranger in the land; do not hide your commandments from me." It’s a powerful line, filled with yearning. But what does it really mean?
Midrash Tehillim, a collection of rabbinic interpretations on the Book of Psalms, digs deep into this verse. It suggests that David's feeling of being a "stranger" wasn't just about physical location. It was about something much more profound: a sense of distance from the Torah itself.
Think about a convert, a ger, someone new to Judaism. They're stepping into a whole new world, a rich tapestry of laws, customs, and stories that can feel overwhelming. The Midrash draws a parallel: "Just as a convert today knows nothing of the Torah, so too the eyes of a person are open and he knows nothing of the Torah."
It's a humbling thought. If David, the sweet singer of Israel, the author of so many of the Psalms, felt like a stranger to the Torah, then what hope do we have? The Midrash drives the point home: "And if David, who said all these psalms and songs, said 'I am a stranger in the land and know nothing,' how much more so are we who know nothing of the Torah?"
Ouch.
But there's also comfort in this shared feeling of inadequacy. We're all on a journey of learning and discovery. We're all, in a way, strangers in a strange land, trying to find our way.
The Midrash connects this sense of being a stranger with the fleeting nature of life. As we find in 1 Chronicles 29:15, "For we are strangers before You, and sojourners, as were all our fathers; our days on earth are like a shadow." Life is ephemeral, a shadow that passes quickly. And when do our days feel most like a shadow? According to the Midrash, when we neglect the study of Torah.
It's not just about accumulating knowledge, though. It's about connecting with something larger than ourselves, something eternal. It's about finding meaning and purpose in a world that can often feel chaotic and confusing.
Our Sages, in their wisdom, remind us of the urgency of this task. "The day is short, the work is abundant, the laborers are lazy, the wages are high, and the owner of the house is pressed." This well-known teaching encourages us to make the most of our time, to dedicate ourselves to learning and growth, even when it feels challenging.
So, what’s the takeaway? Perhaps it's this: Embrace the feeling of being a stranger. Let it fuel your curiosity, your desire to learn, your yearning for connection. Don't be afraid to ask questions, to seek guidance, to stumble and get back up again. The Torah, and life itself, is a journey, not a destination.
And maybe, just maybe, by acknowledging our own sense of being a stranger, we can draw closer to understanding the divine commandments and finding our place in the world.