Specifically, they debated what constitutes a true "cutting off," a complete severance in a marriage – what they called krithuth. This discussion is preserved for us in Sifrei Devarim 269, and it gets Imagine this: a husband gives his wife a get, a divorce document. But it comes with strings attached. He says, "Here’s your divorce… on the condition that you never again visit your father's house!" Or, "…on the condition that you never again drink wine!" Is that a real divorce?
The rabbis in Sifrei Devarim would say no. Why? Because there isn't a complete severing of ties. There's still this… lingering control. A shadow of the marriage, if you will. It's not krithuth, that clean break we're looking for. It’s like saying, "You’re free… but not really."
But what if the conditions were temporary? "You can’t visit your father's house for thirty days." Or, "No wine for a month." Ah, now we're talking! According to Sifrei Devarim, that is krithuth. The separation, though temporary, is defined and allows for a clean break at the present moment. There’s a defined period of separation; after that, she's truly free.
And it gets even more complex. What if the husband divorces his wife and says, "You are permitted to everyone… except so-and-so"?
Now, Rabbi Eliezer takes a surprisingly lenient view. He permits it. He says, that's a valid divorce.
But the other sages? They strongly forbid it. This exception, this lingering control over who she can and cannot be with, taints the entire process. It's not a clean break. It’s still a form of ownership.
This disagreement must have been intense, because the text tells us that after the death of Rabbi Eliezer, four prominent elders – Rabbi Tarfon, Rabbi Yossi Haglili, Rabbi Elazar ben Azaryah, and, the great Rabbi Akiva – gathered to debate his ruling! Imagine the scene – these giants of Jewish thought, wrestling with the nuances of freedom, control, and the very definition of a clean break.
What's so fascinating about this passage in Sifrei Devarim is that it's not just about the technicalities of divorce. It's about the essence of freedom. Can you truly be free if there are conditions attached? Does a shadow of control negate the entire concept of release?
It makes you wonder: what "conditions" do we place on ourselves and others? What invisible strings are still attached, preventing a true, complete severing of old patterns, relationships, or beliefs? And what would it take to truly cut them off, to achieve that krithuth, that clean break, and step into genuine freedom?