1:1).</b> Scripture states (elsewhere in allusion to this verse): <i>He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chastiseth him betimes</i> (Prov. 13:24). Normally, if a man informs his friend that someone has beaten his son, the father would deprive the guilty person even of the source of his livelihood. Why, then, does Scripture state: <i>He that spareth his rod hateth his son?</i> This teaches you that whenever a man fails to chastise his son, that son will ultimately act wickedly, and he will come to despise him. We find this to be so in the case of Ishmael, who behaved fondly toward his father, who failed to chastise him, and he thus went astray. As a result, Abraham began to despise him, and drove him empty-handed from his home.
What had Ishmael done? When he was fifteen years old, he brought idols into his home, to play with and to worship as he had seen others do. <i>As soon as Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne unto Abraham, making sport</i> (Gen. 21:9). The word <i>sport</i> refers only to practicing idolatry, as it is said: <i>And the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to make sport</i> (Exod. 32:6). She said to him: <i>Abraham, cast out this bondwoman and her son</i> (Gen. 21:10), lest my son learn from his behavior.
<i>And the thing was very grievous in Abraham’s sight because of his son. And God said unto Abraham: “Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah saith unto thee, hearken unto her voice”</i> (ibid. 21:11–12). You learn from this verse that Abraham was subordinate to Sarah in matters of prophecy. <i>Thereupon, Abraham arose up early in the morning, and took bread and a bottle of wine</i> (ibid., v. 14). (This episode) teaches us that he hated Ishmael because he had gone astray, and as a result drove him and Hagar, his own wife, from his home empty-handed.
Do you believe that Abraham, concerning whom it is written: <i>And Abraham was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold</i> (Gen. 13:2), would have driven his own wife and son from his home, without clothes or food, silver or cattle (for any other reason)? This (episode) simply teaches us that after Ishmael went astray, he was no longer concerned about him. But if this is so, what is meant by <i>And the thing was very grievous in Abraham’s sight on account of his son</i>? It means that he was actually concerned (about the consequence of) Ishmael’s straying. You find that when Ishmael grew up, he would wait at the crossroads to murder and rob those who passed by, as it is said: <i>And he shall be a wild ass of a man; and his hand shall be against every man</i> (Gen. 16:12).
Another example of this is stated in Scripture: <i>Now Isaac loved Esau</i> (ibid. 25:28). Apparently, Esau went astray because his father failed to chastise him. As we have learned, the wicked Esau committed five transgressions in one day: he slept with a betrothed maiden, killed a man, denied the concept of resurrection, rejected the essential principle of religion (i.e., became an atheist), and despised the birthright. All of these transgressions are indicated either specifically in verses in Scripture or by analogy with other verses in Scripture (<i>gezerah shavah</i>). Furthermore, he longed for his father’s death, so that he might slay his brother, as it is said: <i>Let the days of mourning for my father be at hand, then will I slay my brother, Jacob</i> (Gen. 27:41). He compelled Jacob to flee from his father’s house, while he went to Ishmael’s home to learn evil ways from him, and to add to the number of his wives, as it is said: <i>So Esau went unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives that he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham’s son</i> (ibid. 28:9).
Similarly, Absalom went astray because David failed to chastise and punish him. He tried to kill (his father), he slept with his father’s ten concubines, he forced his father to wander about barefoot and weeping, he brought about the slaughter of thousands of Israelites, and caused him innumerable trials, as it is written:, <i>A psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom, his son</i> (Ps. 3:1), and this is followed by: <i>Lord, how many are mine adversaries become</i>.
Degeneracy in a man’s house is considered far more grievous than the war between Gog and Magog.<sup class="footnote-marker">1</sup><i class="footnote">The final struggle preceding the Messianic age.</i> For with reference to the war between Gog and Magog it is written: <i>Why are the nations in an uproar?</i> (ibid. 2:1), but not: <i>O Lord, how many are mine adversaries become</i>.
David behaved similarly toward Adonijah. Because he did not reproach him or punish him he went astray, as it is written: <i>And his father had not grieved him all his life in saying: “Why hast thou done so?” … and he was born after Absalom</i> (I Kings 1:6). Was not Absalom actually the son of Micah, and Adonijah the son of Haggith? Why, then, does it say: <i>And he was born after Absalom</i>?<sup class="footnote-marker">2</sup><i class="footnote">The verse gives the impression that they were born of the same mother.</i> To teach us that just as Absalom went astray because his father failed to chastise him, so did Adonijah, concerning whom it is written: <i>And his father had not grieved him all his life</i> (I Kings 1:2) by asking: “Why have you done such-and-such?” He went astray for the same reason. Hence Scripture states: <i>He that spareth his rod hateth his son</i>.
<i>And he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes</i> (Prov. 13:24). This alludes to Abraham, who punished Isaac, taught him the law, and guided him in his ways, as it is written of him: <i>Because that Abraham harkened to My voice, and kept My charge</i> (Gen. 26:5). And it is also written elsewhere: <i>And these are the generations of Isaac, Abraham’s son: Abraham begot Isaac</i> (ibid. 25:19). This teaches us that he resembled his father in every respect; in beauty, wisdom, strength, riches, and (the performance of) good deeds. You know this to be so from the fact that though Isaac, at the time of the sacrifice, was thirty-seven years of age, and Abraham was an old man, yet he bound him and tied him as though he were a sheep, and Isaac did not resist. Scripture states: <i>And Abraham gave all that he had unto Isaac, but unto the sons of the concubines that Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts</i> (ibid., v. 5); that is to say, he distanced them from Isaac (so that he would have undisputed possession of the land). Hence, <i>And he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes</i>.
Similarly, the verse <i>And he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes</i> alludes to Jacob. His father, Isaac, taught him the law and reprimanded him (as he studied) in the schoolroom, as it is said: <i>And Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents</i> (ibid., v. 27). After he had absorbed everything his father could teach him, he left his father’s home to live in Eber’s home, where he continued to study the law.<sup class="footnote-marker">3</sup><i class="footnote">Cf. Megillah 17a. He remained there fourteen years.</i> Therefore, he deserved to inherit the land of Israel, as it is written: <i>And Jacob dwelt in the land of his father’s sojourning</i> (ibid. 37:1). Our patriarch Jacob also punished and rebuked his sons, and taught them his customs and practices lest blemishes should appear in their character. Whence do we know this? From the fact that Scripture states: <i>And these are the names of the sons of Israel: Reuben, Simeon</i>, etc. (ibid. 25:13). Scripture equates them all.<sup class="footnote-marker">4</sup><i class="footnote">All of them are mentioned in the same verse.</i> Hence, <i>he that loveth his son chasteneth him betimes</i>.
Likewise, <i>He that loveth his son chasteneth him betimes</i> refers to the righteous Bath-sheba, who rebuked her son, Solomon, as it is written: <i>The words of king Lemuel, the burden wherewith his mother corrected him</i> (Prov. 31:1).<sup class="footnote-marker">5</sup><i class="footnote">The name Lemuel was applied to Solomon by his mother as a means of chastising him. According to Canticles Rabbah 1, he was surnamed Lemuel because he spoke against God in his heart. Lemuel is read as <i>lemu el</i> (“what is God?”). See Sanhedrin 70b.</i> R. Yosé the son of Hanina posed the question: What is meant by <i>The burden wherewith his mother corrected him</i>? It means that Bath-sheba turned him over a whipping post and punished him by beating him with a rod. What did she say to him as she did this? <i>What, my son? and what, O son of my womb? and what, O son of my vows?</i> (Prov. 31:2). With these words she was saying to him: “Everyone knows that your father is a God-fearing man, and if you should go astray, they will say that you are my son, and I am responsible for what you are.” <i>And what, O son of my womb?</i> “When the other women of your father’s house became pregnant, they saw the king’s face no more, but I went to him so that I might have a well-formed and powerful son.”<sup class="footnote-marker">6</sup><i class="footnote">It was believed that cohabitation during the last three months of pregnancy affected the embryo positively but the mother negatively. Despite the danger she went to David in order to strengthen her unborn child.</i> <i>And what, O son of my vows?</i> “All the other women of your father’s house vowed: I shall have a son fit for kingship, but I vowed: I will have a son wise in the knowledge of the law and worthy of prophecy.” Therefore she beat him and chastised him and said to him: <i>It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes to say: “Where is strong drink?”</i> (Prov. 31:4). That is to say, she was telling him: “What have you to do with kings who drink wine, become drunk, and say, <i>O Lemuel</i>, what is God to us? It is not for princes to say: <i>Where is strong drink?</i> (ibid.). Shall he, to whom all secrets of the world are revealed, drink wine and become drunk?” Therefore she chastised him, and <i>He was wiser than all men</i> (I Kings 5:11).
It is taught that R. Simeon the son of Yohai stated: You find that the Holy One, blessed be He, bestowed three precious gifts upon Israel, but He gave them only through suffering: the law, the land of Israel, and the world-to-come. The law, for it is written: <i>Happy is the man whom Thou instructest, O Lord, and teachest out of Thy law</i> (Ps. 94:12). Concerning the land of Israel it is written: <i>You shall realize that the Lord your God chastises you as a man chastises his son</i> (Deut. 8:5). What is written afterward? <i>For the Lord thy God bringeth thee into a good land</i> (ibid., v. 7); and of the world-to-come it is written: <i>For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light, and reproofs of instruction are the way of life</i> (Prov. 6:23). Every father who chastises his son increases the child’s love and respect for his father, as it is written: <i>Chasten thy son, for there is hope; but set not thy heart on his destruction</i> (ibid. 19:18). Hence, <i>But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes</i>.