46 texts in Apocrypha & Pseudepigrapha
According to the Alphabet of Ben Sira, a strange and satirical medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 CE, three people in all of history were born without their parents having...
The teacher says "Aleph" and expects the child to repeat it. That's how Torah education works—has worked for centuries. But Ben Sira isn't a normal child. He's a newborn prodigy wh...
The teacher calls out the letter Bet. Ben Sira responds with a proverb that could have come straight from the book of Proverbs itself: "By the appearance of a beautiful woman have ...
For the letter Gimel, Ben Sira offers a proverb about trust: "Reveal your secret to one out of a thousand, even if you have many well-wishers." One out of a thousand. That's the ra...
The letter Dalet brings a warning about desire that cuts right to the bone: "Deprive your flesh of a graceful woman, like the flame of a coal." Like the flame of a coal. The metaph...
By the letter Hey, Ben Sira's proverbs have shifted from gentle warnings to something more direct: "Blind your eyes because of the graceful woman, lest you be caught in her trap." ...
The letter Vav arrives, and Ben Sira delivers one of his sharpest proverbs yet: "Woe to one who follows after his eyes! And know that they are the product of straying, and there is...
The letter Zayin brings a proverb that circles back to the teacher's earlier obsession with beards: "Do not be thin-bearded or thick-bearded. Scorn these things, because you do not...
The letter Chet opens with Ben Sira's most provocative proverb so far: "Males are dear to all, but woe to fathers of females." Let's be clear about what this is. The Alphabet of Be...
The letter Tet continues the theme of fatherhood and daughters with a proverb that's as bleak as it is brief: "A daughter is a false image to her father. Out of fear of her, he doe...
The letter Yud picks up exactly where the previous proverb left off, and it doesn't hold back: "The watchman does not sleep. When she is a minor—lest she be seduced or assaulted in...
The letter Kaf pushes the father's worry even further into the future: "When you marry the daughter, you worry about her the most—lest she not have children. And when you are older...
The letter Lamed marks a sharp turn. After several proverbs about daughters, Ben Sira pivots to marriage itself: "Do not sleep in your youth, and when you are old, do not marry an ...
The letter Mem—which in Hebrew also means "water"—brings a proverb built entirely around that elemental image: "The waters of a virgin wife are sweet and add strength; the waters o...
The letter Nun delivers a proverb about the domestic nightmare the Alphabet of Ben Sira seems to fear most—not infidelity, not poverty, but a wife who won't stop talking: "Shake yo...
The Alphabet of Ben Sira, a satirical and provocative medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 CE, doesn't shy away from blunt advice about marriage. In this proverb, tied to th...
"Blind your eyes because of a widowed woman, and do not covet her beauty in your heart." That's what Ben Sira says, in the proverb attached to the Hebrew letter Ayin (ע)—and it's a...
"Control your face around evil friends. Do not walk on the road with them. Hold your feet back around them, lest you be caught in their trap." This proverb, corresponding to the le...
"My son, hide your money during your lifetime and store it, and until the day of your death, do not give it to your heirs." This is the proverb of the letter Tzadi (צ) in the Alpha...
"Acquire for yourself money, and a good wife, fear of God, and accumulate sons for yourself, even a hundred of them." The letter Kuf (ק) in the Alphabet of Ben Sira delivers a prov...
"Distance yourself from an evil neighbor and do not be counted among their friends." So begins the proverb of the letter Resh (ר) in the Alphabet of Ben Sira. It sounds like a stra...
"Listen, master, to what I am saying. Rest yourself from starting quarrels with your neighbors, and if you see something evil about your friend, do not produce their slander on you...
"Acquire for yourself gold coins, and all money, but do not tell your wife where the money is, even if she is good." And with that, the alphabetical proverbs of the Alphabet of Ben...
Ben Sira's teacher is freaking out. The boy has just rattled off proverbs for every letter of the Hebrew alphabet with the confidence of a seasoned sage, and his educator can only ...
According to the Alphabet of Ben Sira, a medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 CE, the child prodigy Ben Sira mastered the entirety of human and divine knowledge in just seve...
Ben Sira's reputation for impossible feats of knowledge—like counting every grain of wheat in a bushel at a glance—eventually reached the court of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. ...
Nebuchadnezzar's first question to Ben Sira is bizarre. "How does the rabbit shave her head?" The answer Ben Sira gives connects this strange question to one of the most famous enc...
Nebuchadnezzar's second challenge to Ben Sira is deceptively simple. "Count the trees in my garden." The seven-year-old doesn't even need to look. "Thirty types of trees are in you...
Nebuchadnezzar doesn't believe Ben Sira actually knows what's in his garden. So the king proposes a test. He'll blindfold the boy, march his army past in separate battalions, and B...
Nebuchadnezzar wants to kill Ben Sira. He's just not very subtle about it. "I have a friend I hate," the king says, barely disguising his intentions, "and I want to kill him with f...
Before Eve, there was Lilith. According to the Alphabet of Ben Sira, a medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 CE, God didn't create Eve first. God created a woman from the sam...
Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, had questions. Ben Sira had answers. And in the Alphabet of Ben Sira, a satirical medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 CE, no question was t...
Nebuchadnezzar noticed something odd about the human body and asked Ben Sira to explain it. Everywhere on the body, each hair follicle holds two hairs. But on the head, each follic...
Gnats live for a single day. They're born, they swarm, they die. New ones replace them. So why do they exist at all? Nebuchadnezzar wanted to know, and Ben Sira had a two-part answ...
King David once watched a wasp devouring a spider while a fool chased them both with a stick. And he complained to God about it. Why create wasps that sting for no benefit? Why cre...
Nebuchadnezzar asked Ben Sira a question that most people wouldn't think to ask: why does an ox have no hair on its nose? The answer, according to the Alphabet of Ben Sira (c. 700-...
In the beginning, the cat and the mouse were friends. Partners, actually. But according to the Alphabet of Ben Sira, a satirical medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 CE, the...
The Alphabet of Ben Sira, composed between 700 and 1000 CE, doesn't shy away from the crudest questions about the natural world. When Nebuchadnezzar asked why donkeys urinate on on...
The Alphabet of Ben Sira, a medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 CE, tells the longest and wildest origin story for why dogs and cats can't stand each other. It goes all the...
Any cat owner knows the feeling: your cat looks right through you like you're a stranger who happens to operate the food dish. According to the Alphabet of Ben Sira, composed betwe...
Look closely at a mouse's face and you'll notice fine lines running along its cheeks, almost like tiny stitches. The Alphabet of Ben Sira, a medieval text composed between 700 and ...
Watch a raven walk and you'll notice something peculiar. It doesn't strut smoothly like a pigeon or hop like a sparrow. It bobs and sways, almost like it's dancing. The Alphabet of...
The raven has a terrible reputation in Jewish tradition. Thief. Scoundrel. Untrustworthy. And according to the Alphabet of Ben Sira, a medieval text composed between 700 and 1000 C...
This is one of the greatest trickster stories in all of Jewish literature. According to the Alphabet of Ben Sira, composed between 700 and 1000 CE, every land animal has a correspo...
Jewish tradition holds that a handful of people never died. They walked into Gan Eden - the Garden of Eden - while still alive, bypassing death entirely. The Alphabet of Ben Sira, ...
According to one fascinating oral tradition, Adam's first wife wasn't quite the helpmate he expected. She was, shall we say, a little too clever, a little too strong for him. Can y...
