Ben Sira's reputation for impossible feats of knowledge—like counting every grain of wheat in a bushel at a glance—eventually reached the court of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. And this is where the Alphabet of Ben Sira, composed between 700 and 1000 CE, shifts from a collection of proverbs into a wild adventure story.
Nebuchadnezzar's own court sages panicked when they heard about this Jewish child genius. "If the king finds out, he'll replace us," they reasoned. So they hatched a plan. They'd challenge Ben Sira to explain the meaning of the phrase "Oy Vanehi"—a riddle drawn from their own tradition, not his. If he couldn't answer, they'd kill him.
The king sent a thousand cavalry to fetch the boy. But the soldiers were terrified. "Send us anywhere in the world," they begged, "just not to an Israelite sage." They remembered what the prophet Elisha had done to Aramean troops. Nebuchadnezzar had to invoke the verse from (Jeremiah 27:6)—that God had given him dominion over even the wild beasts—to convince them to go.
When they arrived, Ben Sira trolled them. He sent back a rabbit with writing on its shaved head, claiming that was the "wild beast" who would serve the king. Nebuchadnezzar was baffled. He sent a second delegation with a message dripping with sarcasm: "If you won't come for my honor, come for your rabbit's."
Ben Sira finally went. He was seven years old.
When the court sages posed their riddle, the boy turned it into a trap. He built a container with snakes hidden in one end and scorpions in the other. The sages reached in and screamed "Vay!" and "Oy Vanehi!"—answering their own riddle with their own terror. The king, impressed and amused, offered Ben Sira the throne. The boy refused. He wasn't from the dynasty of David. Instead, he became Nebuchadnezzar's personal advisor, agreeing to answer twenty-two questions—one for each letter of the Hebrew alphabet.
Come and see how wise Ben Sira was! They would bring him a se'ah [2-ish gallons] of wheat, and he would say to them, "Count the wheat grains in this se'ah, and you will find in it such-and-such number of grains in sum," until his reputation had spread around the whole world. Eventually, Nebuchadnezzar King of Babylon heard of his wisdom. And who did he hear it from? From his wise ones. And when his wise ones heard of his [Ben Sira's] wisdom, they said, "Oy for us, Voy for us- because now Nebuchadnezzar will get rid of us. Instead, let us slander him to the king. He should send after him, and we will ask him something difficult, from our own logic that is not his logic, and if he does not respond do us with an answer, we will kill him." And this they did- they told the king and he sent for him, and he said to them, "And what do you want to ask him?" They said to him, "What is 'Oy Vanehi.' If he knows, very well, and if not, we will kill him." A thousand cavalry went after him, all of whom had cut off a finger and uprooted a tree. They all said, as one, to the King, "Our master, if you want to deploy us to anywhere in the world, we will go. But do not send us to one of the Israelite Sages, so that he does not do us what Elisha did to the Aramean troops. He wrote to them: (Jeremiah 27:6) (Shabbat 129b (150a?)) '"I even give him [Nebuchadnezzar] the wild beasts of the field to serve him." As he tells you, you must go. They said to him(?): "This is a sign that his God has entrusted me, and he should come with you," and he wrote it for them in a letter. When they arrived to him and showed him the letter, Ben Sira said to them, "He sent you not for me but for one rabbit that I have." Immediately, he took a rabbit and wrote on its head, "Behold, this is of the wild beasts of the field and will serve you." He [Nebuchadnezzar] said, "How is it that this hair is shaved off like vellum?" He said, "It is not by iron or any other thing." "I see its flesh inside it, and vellum cannot possibly have its flesh inside it." And he did not know how it was constructed. Immediately, he sent after him another delegation, and sent him in writing, "If you do not want to come in my honor, come in the honor of your rabbit." Immediately, he [Ben Sira] softened and became willing to do it, and went to him. And at the point when he arrived to him, he was seven years old. Immediately all Nebuchadnezzar's wise ones gathered around him and began questioning him. They said to him, "What is Oy Vanehi?" He said to them, "When you heard about me, you had an 'Oy,' and if I kill you, you would have a 'Nehi.'" They said to him, "Explain it well for us, what is "Nehi' and what is 'Vay?" He said, "There are two vavs in it, and their meaning is: When someone goes and touches a dog, and grabs its ear- that is certainly 'Vay' for him. And even before being saved from a snake, if a lion comes to him - that is certainly 'Oy Vanehi.'" When they heard this, they were afraid, and they passed around the words, and said, "We do not know what you are saying. Show us 'Voy Vanehi' to our own eyes." Immediately, he went and took a container (a hollow tube) with two openings and went and caught three snakes and three scorpions, and placed the scorpions in the lower opening and the snakes in the upper opening, and sealed the container and came before the king. And his wise ones said, "What is in the container?" He said to them, "Look!" Immediately one of them put his hand in the container in the first opening and felt the snakes, and said, "Vay, what is this?!" One put his hand in the lower opening and a scorpion struck him, and he said, "Vay Vanehi!" Ben Sira said to them, "Behold- you know 'Vay Vanehi' and you have seen them." When they saw that it was so, they immediately were afraid and sweated and trembled, and fell on their faces. The king said to them, "You contracted with me that if he did not know 'Vay Vanhei' you would kill him; behold, he knows 'Vay Vanehi.' The judgment that you ruled for him, that he should be executed- now you are liable for that execution." They said to him, "Let the king do whatever he wants to his servants." Immediately he handed them over to Ben Sira. He said to them, "Haven't you brought me here here for 'Vay Vanehi?'" Immediately he took them and threw them into the lion's den and they died, at the words 'Vay Vanehi.' Then the king lifted Ben Sira and placed him on a golden throne and set a crown on his head. The king said to him, "I will king you, since you are suitable to rule." He said to him, "My master, I do not want it, since I am small. And it would not be suitable for me to rule over Israel, since I am not from the dynasty of David." He said to him, "But Yoash assumed the throne when he was seven years old." He said to him, "He was from the royal dynasty." He said to him, "Since you do not want it, sit with me in my kingship, since I want to ask you about any matters that I have in my heart, that I see in the world and do not know." He said to him, "My master, anything that you want, ask, and I will explain to you anything that you say." Then he asked him twenty-two questions (the number of the alphabet) and he responded to (and answered) his questions, and here they are:
