<p>Ben Sira's reputation for impossible feats of knowledge -- like counting every grain of wheat in a bushel at a glance -- eventually reached the court of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. And this is where the Alphabet of Ben Sira, composed between 700 and 1000 CE, shifts from a collection of proverbs into a wild adventure story.</p>
<p>Nebuchadnezzar's own court sages panicked when they heard about this Jewish child genius. "If the king finds out, he'll replace us," they reasoned. So they hatched a plan. They'd challenge Ben Sira to explain the meaning of the phrase "Oy Vanehi" -- a riddle drawn from their own tradition, not his. If he couldn't answer, they'd kill him.</p>
<p>The king sent a thousand cavalry to fetch the boy. But the soldiers were terrified. "Send us anywhere in the world," they begged, "just not to an Israelite sage." They remembered what the prophet Elisha had done to Aramean troops. Nebuchadnezzar had to invoke the verse from (Jeremiah 27:6) -- that God had given him dominion over even the wild beasts -- to convince them to go.</p>
<p>When they arrived, Ben Sira trolled them. He sent back a rabbit with writing on its shaved head, claiming that was the "wild beast" who would serve the king. Nebuchadnezzar was baffled. He sent a second delegation with a message dripping with sarcasm: "If you won't come for my honor, come for your rabbit's."</p>
<p>Ben Sira finally went. He was seven years old.</p>
<p>When the court sages posed their riddle, the boy turned it into a trap. He built a container with snakes hidden in one end and scorpions in the other. The sages reached in and screamed "Vay!" and "Oy Vanehi!" -- answering their own riddle with their own terror. The king, impressed and amused, offered Ben Sira the throne. The boy refused. He wasn't from the dynasty of David. Instead, he became Nebuchadnezzar's personal advisor, agreeing to answer twenty-two questions -- one for each letter of the Hebrew alphabet.</p>