We often think of serving God, or doing good deeds, as something that needs to be completely pure, motivated by selfless love and devotion. But what if the path to that pure intention is a little…messier? A little more human?
Baal HaSulam, in his introduction to the Zohar, that foundational text of Kabbalah, gives us a fascinating insight into this very idea. He describes a "second stage" of spiritual growth. It's a step up from simply recognizing the power of our own desires. In this stage, not only do we understand the immensity of our desire to receive – that core human drive – but we also have access to everything we need to use that desire in service of something higher. Think of it as having all the tools, but not quite knowing how to use them perfectly.
But here's the kicker: this is the stage where we can actually start to do things "for its own sake" – lishmah in Hebrew. Now, the Talmud, in Pesachim 50b, makes a powerful statement that sets the stage for this idea: "A person should always engage in Torah and mitzvot, even if he does so not for their own sake, as through the performance of mitzvot not for their own sake, one comes to perform them for their own sake.” Mind. Blown.
It's like saying that even if your initial motivations aren't perfect – maybe you're seeking recognition, or avoiding guilt, or just going through the motions – the very act of engaging with Torah and mitzvot, with commandments, can transform you. It can lead you to a place where you're acting out of genuine love and connection.
Baal HaSulam connects this to the age of thirteen – the age of Bar and Bat Mitzvah. He says that this stage qualifies as holy. Why? Because it’s the secret of the “sacred maidservant who serves her master." This "maidservant," he explains, is the secret of the Shekhina.
Now, the Shekhina is a multifaceted concept. Most simply, it refers to the Divine Presence, that feeling of God's nearness. It's also associated with the lowest Sefira, the last of the ten emanations through which God manifests in the world. So, what does this maidservant have to do with all of this?
Baal HaSulam says that the maidservant brings the person to the level of "for its own sake" – lishmah. She guides us toward pure intention, making us worthy of experiencing the revelation of the Shekhina, that profound sense of connection with the Divine.
Think of it this way: the Shekhina, that intimate Divine Presence, isn’t just something that appears magically. We have to create space for it. We have to make ourselves receptive. And sometimes, the path to that receptivity involves starting with imperfect intentions, allowing the process itself to refine us, to guide us towards a more genuine connection.
So, next time you find yourself acting for reasons that aren't entirely pure, don't despair. Remember the "sacred maidservant." Remember that even imperfect actions can lead to profound transformation, and ultimately, to a deeper connection with something far greater than ourselves.