Sometimes, it's not as straightforward as you might think. to a curious passage from Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer, specifically chapter 36, and see what we can uncover about how our ancestors viewed kinship.

The story begins with Laban, learning of his nephew Jacob’s arrival. Remember Jacob? He's on the run, having just tricked his brother Esau out of his birthright. When Laban hears of Jacob’s exploits – his strength at the well, as the story goes – he rushes to greet him with open arms. The text quotes Genesis 29:13: "And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob, his sister's son..."

But then comes a bit of a head-scratcher. Laban says to Jacob, "Because thou art my brother" (Genesis 29:15). Wait a minute... brother? Was Laban forgetting something? Jacob was his sister's son, not his brother.

So, what's going on here? Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer offers a fascinating interpretation: "This teaches thee that the son of a man's sister is like his son, and the son of a man's brother is like his brother." In other words, the bond between an uncle and nephew (or aunt and niece) is considered so strong, so close, that they can be regarded almost as parent and child, or as siblings themselves. It’s a matter of familial closeness trumping strict biological definitions.

But where does this idea come from? The text then points us back to our patriarch, Abraham. Remember the story of Abraham and Lot? Abraham says to Lot, "Let there not be strife… for we are brethren" (Genesis 13:8). And later, we read, "And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive" (Genesis 14:14). Now, Lot wasn't literally Abraham’s brother; he was the son of Abraham's brother, Haran.

The text emphasizes: "Was he his brother? Was he not the son of his brother? But it teaches thee that the sons of a man's brother are like his own brothers." Abraham treats Lot as a brother, despite their being uncle and nephew. And this becomes a precedent for how we understand these relationships.

What does this tell us? Perhaps it highlights the importance of familial solidarity in ancient times. Maybe it reflects a culture where family ties were paramount for survival and support. Or perhaps it simply acknowledges the deep affection and responsibility that can exist between relatives, regardless of precise biological labels.

It’s a reminder that family isn't always about strict definitions. Sometimes, it’s about the bonds we forge, the love we share, and the way we choose to define our relationships. It’s about treating our relatives with the same care and concern we would give our closest kin.

So, the next time you think about your own family, consider this: who do you consider "like a brother" or "like a son"? And what does that say about the way you define your own bonds of kinship?