We often think of death as something to be feared, something to be avoided at all costs. But what if I told you that Moses, the man who spoke to God face-to-face, actually desired a specific kind of passing?

That's what's hinted at in Sifrei Bamidbar, a collection of legal commentaries on the Book of Numbers. When God tells Moses, in Bamidbar (Numbers) 27:13, "Then you will see it (Eretz Yisrael, the Land of Israel), and you will be gathered to your people — you, too — as Aaron your brother was gathered," the text suggests something profound. It suggests, as the Sifrei Bamidbar tells us, that Moses "lusted after such a death."

But what does it mean to be "gathered to your people" like Aaron? Aaron, the High Priest, died peacefully on Mount Hor (Numbers 20:22-29), his death a seemingly natural transition. Was Moses longing for a similar, gentle departure? A death surrounded by loved ones, a peaceful release from earthly duties?

Perhaps. But the very next verse in Numbers (27:14) throws a wrench into our understanding. God reminds Moses of his transgression, "when you flouted My command in the desert of Tzin in the contention of the congregation." This refers to the incident where Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it to bring forth water (Numbers 20:2-13). A seemingly small act of disobedience, but one with significant consequences.

Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar offers a stark interpretation. He suggests that both Moses and Aaron died by kareth ("cutting-off"), a divine punishment often understood as premature death. He bases this on Deuteronomy 32:51, "because you did not sanctify My name, etc." The implication, according to Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar, is powerful: "if you had sanctified Me, your time would not yet have come to die."

Whoa.

So, did Moses desire a peaceful death, or was he, in a way, punished? These two ideas seem contradictory, don't they? Maybe both are true. Maybe Moses yearned for the ideal, for a death like Aaron's, but understood that his actions had altered his destiny.

It makes you wonder about our own lives, doesn’t it? About the choices we make and the paths they lead us down. Do we always get the death we desire, or does our journey shape our final destination in ways we can't always foresee?

It’s a sobering thought, but also a call to action. A reminder to sanctify God's name in all that we do, to strive for righteousness, and to live a life that we, and perhaps even Moses himself, would be proud of.