Humor

2,594 texts · Page 54 of 55

Wit, irony, and laughter in rabbinic literature, from the clever retorts of the sages to the holy fools of Chelm.

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 25:16-17:) “Then the Lord spoke [unto Moses], saying, ‘Harass the Midianites […].’” Why?5Numb. R. 21:4. (Numb. 25:18:) “Because they are harassing you.” Hence the sages have...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 26:1-2:) “And it came to pass after the plague [that the Lord said unto Moses and unto Elazar ben Aaron the priest, saying,] ‘Take a census.’” Every time that they fell, the...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

"To these apportion the land" (Numbers 26:53). And who are they? The ones standing on the Plains of Moav. And was the land not apportioned to those that left Egypt? As it is writte...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 27:1:) “Then came forward the daughters of Zelophehad.” In that generation the women were fencing11On raising a fence about the Law, see Avot 1:1. that which the men were br...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation (of Numb. 27:5), “Moses brought their cause [before the Lord]”: R. Simeon ben Laqish said, “Our master Moses knew this judgment, but they first came before c...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 27:15-16:), “And Moses spoke […], ‘Let the Lord, [the God of the spirits of all flesh], appoint….’” Let our master instruct us: What blessing does one say on seeing a human ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 27:16:) “Let the Lord, [the God of the spirits of all flesh], appoint….” This text is related (to Is. 45:11), “Regarding the things to come, would you question Me concerning...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pinchas 14

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

"Command the Children of Israel" (Numbers 28:2). This is [the meaning of] that which was stated by the verse (Job 27:23), "The Omnipresent we have not found to be of great power"; ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Matot 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 31:2:) “Exact vengeance [for the Children of Israel on the Midianites; afterward you shall be gathered unto your people].” R. Judah said, “If Moses had wanted to live for se...

Midrash Tanchuma, Matot 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation (of Numb. 31:2:) “Exact vengeance for the Children of Israel.” This text is related (to Job 36:7), “He does not withdraw His eyes from a righteous person […]...

Midrash Tanchuma, Masei 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Let our master instruct us: When a person is being pursued by troops and brigands,1Gk.: lestai. is it permissible for such a one to profane the Sabbath? Thus have our masters taugh...

Midrash Tanchuma, Masei 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

It is written (in Josh. 7:19), “Then Joshua said unto Achan, ‘My son, please give glory [to the Lord God of Israel and make a confession to Him; please tell me what you have done, ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Masei 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

"Command the Children of Israel" (Numbers 34:2:). This is what is stated in the verse (in (Numbers 23:1)9), "God is not a man to be deceitful," [meaning] a man will not make God de...

Midrash Tanchuma, Masei 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 34:2:) “When you come [into the land of Canaan].” This text is related (to Jer. 2:31), “You, O generation, understand the word of the Lord! Have I been a desert (hmdbr, vowe...

Midrash Tanchuma, Masei 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numbers 35:11:) “You shall provide yourselves with places to serve you as cities of refuge.” And it is written (in (Numbers 35:13-1)4), “six cities of refuge shall there be for yo...

Midrash Tanchuma, Devarim 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 2:2-4:) “Then the Lord spoke unto me, saying, ‘You have had enough of going about this mountain; turn north. Now charge the people, saying, “You are passing through the terr...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vaetchanan 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 3:23:) “I besought the Lord.” This text is related (to (Job 9:2)2), “It is all one; therefore, I say, ‘He destroys the innocent and the wicked.’” Moses said, “Master of the ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Eikev 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

All of the commandment that I command you today (Deuteronomy 8:1): This is what the verse stated (Proverbs 4:22), "They are life to him who finds them, healing for his whole body,"...

Midrash Tanchuma, Eikev 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

At that time, etc. (Deuteronomy 10:1): This is what the verse stated (Ecclesiastes 3:1), "A time and season is set for everything, for every experience under heaven." There was a t...

Midrash Tanchuma, Eikev 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Two tablets of stone (Deuteronomy 10:1): Corresponding to a groom and bride; corresponding to two ushers/benefactors; corresponding to heaven and earth; corresponding to two scribe...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 11:26:) “See, I [am setting before you today a blessing and a curse]. This text is related (to Jer. 21:8), “And (to) [unto] this people you shall say, ‘Thus says the Lord, “...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation: "See I" (Deuteronomy 11:26). I who have chosen goodness, see how different I am from the whole world, such that the creatures should not say, "When Moshe ca...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And you say, "I shall eat meat" (Deuteronomy 12:20): Rabbi Eliezer beRabbi Yehoshua said, "From here you learn that a man should not acquire a litra of meat until he consults with ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 12:29:) When the Lord God has cut off the nations.” A parable: To what is the matter comparable? To a king who planted a vineyard within his field, but within [that field] w...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 14:22:) “You shall surely tithe.” This text is related (to Prov. 28:22), “An evil-eyed person (i.e., a miser) moves quickly after wealth; [and he does not know that loss wil...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

It is written (in Ps. 37:3), “Trust in the Lord and do good; settle the land and maintain yourself with faith.” R. Haggai said in the name of R. Isaac, “Interpret this verse by tra...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 12

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

It is written (in Prov. 3:9), “Honor the Lord with your wealth.” Thus if you are handsome, do not be uncontrolled in sexual matters, lest people say, “So and so is handsome but not...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 15

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 14:22:) “You shall surely tithe.” This is related to the verse (in (Job 31:3)8), “If my land cries out against me.” The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Job, “Do you have an...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 16

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 14:22:) “You shall surely tithe.” This is related to the verse (in Dan. 9:7) “With You, O Lord, there is righteousness, but there is a shameful face with us, to this very da...

Midrash Tanchuma, Re'eh 17

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 14:22:) “You shall surely tithe.” What is written above the matter (in Deut. 14:21)? “You shall eat no carcass [that is not properly slaughtered].” R. 'Azariah, R. Johanan b...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 16:18:) “[You shall appoint] judges and law officers.” This text is related (to Ps. 147:19), “He declares His words to Jacob, His statutes and His ordinances to Israel.” “Hi...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Judges and officials (Deuteronomy 16:18): The judges need to be men of strength through good deeds. As this is what Moshe did: "And Moshe chose men of valor" (Exodus 18:25), in Tor...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Appoint for yourselves [in all of your gates] (Deuteronomy 16:18) You should appoint judges in all the gates; as courts convene twice a week in the cities, on Monday and on Thursda...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 16:18:) “You shall appoint judges and law officers] for yourselves in all your gates,” in every single city; “for your tribes,” even when the whole city consists of a single...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 8

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 16:19, cont.:) “You shall not take a bribe.” When the judge sets his heart on a bribe, he becomes blind to justice and he is unable to judge [a case] honestly. R. Eliezer sa...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Zech. 13:8:) “’And it shall come to pass throughout all the land,’ says the Lord, ‘that two-thirds in it shall be cut off [and] die, but one-third shall remain in it.’” This is wh...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 17

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And when you approach the battle, the priest shall come forward and address the people (Deuteronomy 20:2): And so [too] does it state (Deuteronomy 21:5) "The priests, the Sons of L...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 18

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

When you approach a town to attack it, [you shall offer it terms of peace]: See how great is the power of peace; as the Holy One, blessed be He, said to open with peace even to the...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shoftim 19

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

You shall offer it terms of peace (Deuteronomy 20:10): Rabbi Levi said, "Moshe did three things and the Holy One, blessed be He, agreed with him. And these are them: It is written ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 21:10:) “When you go out to war [against your enemies, and the Lord your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive].” Our masters have taught (Avot 4:2), “[One...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 22:6-7), “You come across a bird nest, [….] You must surely let the mother go.” This text is related (to Prov. 4:23), “More than any observance preserve your heart, for out ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Remember that which [Amalek] did to you, etc. (Deuteronomy 25:17): Here it is written, "Remember," and with Shabbat (the Sabbath) it is written, "Remember." Both of them are equal....

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 8

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Rabbi Banna'ah opened [his discourse] (with Prov. 11:1), “Fraudulent scales are an abomination to the Lord….”:27PRK 3:4; Ruth R. 1:2; cf. PR 13:5. if you see a generation whose mea...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

R. Levi opened [his discourse] (with Ps. 9:6), “You have rebuked the nations; you have destroyed the wicked one”: “You have rebuked the nations.” This refers to Amalek, of which it...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Teitzei 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 25:18, cont.:) And he cut off (rt.: znb) all who were lagging behind you. He smote them with a blow to the tail (rt.: znb).51The word can also denote the penis. See PR 7:3; ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tavo 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 27:9:) “Then Moses and the Levitical priests spoke to all Israel, saying, ‘Pay attention and listen.’” What is the meaning of pay attention (hasket) and listen? Be silent (h...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tavo 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And it shall be if you truly listen (Deuteronomy 28:1): This is that which was stated in the verse (Song of Songs 1:3), "Your ointments yield a sweet fragrance, your name is like f...

Midrash Tanchuma, Nitzavim 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Deut. 29:9:) “You are standing today.” This text is related (to Prov. 12:7), “The wicked are overturned (rt.: hpk) and are no more, but the house of the righteous shall stand.” Ev...