His story, often overshadowed, takes some fascinating turns, especially concerning his wives.
According to Legends of the Jews, that incredible compilation of rabbinic lore by Louis Ginzberg, Ishmael, son of Abraham and Hagar, had quite the journey. After being sent away into the wilderness, Ishmael eventually marries and has children. God, we're told, blessed Ishmael with flocks and herds because of Abraham, his father. But there's a poignant moment, a father's yearning, that sets in motion an interesting domestic drama.
Abraham, missing his son, decides to visit Ishmael after a long absence. He travels to the wilderness, arriving at Ishmael's tent around noon. But Ishmael isn't there; he's out hunting. Abraham finds Ishmael's wife, surrounded by her children, but her demeanor is far from welcoming. Now, remember, Abraham had sworn to Sarah that he wouldn't dismount his camel. So, there he sits, a weary traveler, asking for a little water.
The response he gets? Stone-cold silence and then a flat, "We have neither water nor bread." What's worse, she's busy scolding and even cursing her children, and speaking ill of Ishmael. Abraham, witnessing this, is understandably disturbed.
Still on his camel, Abraham instructs the woman: "When Ishmael returns, tell him that an old man from the land of the Philistines came seeking him. Tell him: ‘Put away this tent-pin which thou hast placed here, and place another tent-pin in its stead.'" A cryptic message, right?
When Ishmael returns and hears his wife's account, he understands. He recognizes his father's veiled criticism. The "tent-pin," you see, is a metaphor. Abraham is telling Ishmael to divorce his wife because she isn't honoring him or their family. And Ishmael, honoring his father, does just that.
Fast forward a few years. Abraham, still longing to see his son, makes another trip. This time, he finds Ishmael remarried. And what a difference! Ishmael is out hunting, but his new wife welcomes Abraham with open arms. She urges him to enter the tent, offering him bread and water. Abraham, though initially hesitant, accepts her hospitality, eats, drinks, and blesses Ishmael.
Before leaving, Abraham gives her another message: "When Ishmael comes home, tell him: ‘The tent-pin which thou hast is very good, do not put it away from the tent.'" This time, the message is clear: This wife is a keeper!
When Ishmael returns, his wife joyfully recounts the old man's visit. Ishmael understands that his father approves. This time, he praises the Lord and, in a beautiful act of reconciliation, takes his new wife, his children, and all his possessions, and goes to live with his father, Abraham, in the land of the Philistines. Abraham then tells Ishmael the whole story of the first wife and why he had instructed him to divorce her.
What does this story tell us? It’s a reminder that family relationships are complex, even for the patriarchs. It speaks to the importance of honoring one's spouse and the impact that a partner can have on a family's well-being. It also highlights the enduring bond between a father and son, even when their paths diverge. And perhaps, most profoundly, it shows us that even in the wilderness, hospitality, kindness, and respect can create a home.