We’ve all been there. But what if I told you this very human tendency is reflected in the ancient commentaries on the Torah?

Today, we’re diving into Bereshit Rabbah, a collection of rabbinic interpretations of the Book of Genesis. Specifically, we're looking at section 75, which deals with the story of Jacob sending messengers to his brother Esau. It's a tense moment – years have passed since Jacob tricked Esau out of his birthright, and now Jacob is returning home. He's understandably nervous about the reception he'll receive.

Rav Huna kicks things off with a quote from Proverbs (26:17): “Like one who grasps the ears of a dog, so is a passerby who is angered over a quarrel not his.” What’s he getting at? Well, the Rabbis are using this proverb as a lens through which to understand Jacob’s actions. Was Jacob sticking his nose where it didn’t belong? Was he stirring up trouble where there was none?

Shmuel bar Naḥman then offers an analogy. Imagine a robber chief asleep at a crossroads. An innocent passerby, seeing the danger, tries to wake him up to warn him. What does the robber do? He wakes up and starts beating the very person who was trying to help! The passerby cries out, "Evil has awakened!" The robber retorts, "I was asleep, and you woke me!"

It's a strange and powerful image, isn't it? What’s the connection to Jacob and Esau? According to Shmuel bar Naḥman, God is essentially saying to Jacob: Esau "was going on his way," perhaps content to leave the past in the past. Why are you sending messengers to him, addressing him submissively with the words, "So said your servant, Jacob"?

The implication is clear: Jacob, in his anxiety, might be the one re-igniting the old conflict.

Rabbi Yehuda ben Rabbi Simon drives the point home with a quote from Jeremiah (13:21): “What will you say when He will reckon with you, and you trained them as chieftains and heads over you?” Again, God is speaking to Jacob, questioning his actions. "He was going on his way," God says, "and then you are sending to him and saying: 'So said your servant, Jacob.'"

The repetition of "He was going on his way…" is striking. It emphasizes the idea that Jacob might have been better off leaving things alone. That sometimes, our attempts to control a situation, to preemptively appease or defend, can actually make things worse.

These Rabbis, through their interpretations, invite us to consider the complexities of reconciliation and the potential pitfalls of our own anxieties. Maybe Esau had moved on. Maybe Jacob's fear was creating the very problem he was trying to avoid.

Bereshit Rabbah isn’t just telling us a story; it’s holding up a mirror. It's asking us to examine our own motivations, our own fears, and the ways in which we might inadvertently "grasp the ears of a dog," stirring up trouble where there was peace. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? How often do we create the very conflicts we fear the most?