But then, his messengers return with chilling news. They deliver Esau's message, but it's not exactly a warm welcome. They also warn Jacob that Esau is marching toward him with an army— four hundred leaders, each commanding four hundred men. That's quite a welcoming committee! "You treat him like a brother," the messengers tell Jacob, "but remember, he is Esau. Don't forget his wicked nature."
Now, Jacob remembered God's promise: that he would return to his father's house in peace. But this news from Esau? It shakes him to his core. As Ginzberg retells it in Legends of the Jews, even the most pious among us can't simply rely on divine promises as if they were guarantees for earthly success. You see, Jacob understood a profound truth: even the smallest sin, the tiniest misstep, could potentially nullify that promise. Maybe, just maybe, he'd unknowingly done something to jeopardize his safe return.
And that’s not all that worried him. As we see in the Zohar, Jacob was also concerned that Esau might actually be favored by God at this moment. Why? Because for the past twenty years, Esau had been fulfilling two important commandments that Jacob had been unable to keep. Esau had been living in the Holy Land, while Jacob was in exile. Esau had been attending to his parents, while Jacob was far away.
Talk about a crisis of faith!
Jacob was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He feared defeat, of course. But, believe it or not, he also dreaded the possibility of victory. The thought of overcoming Esau, or worse, actually killing his own brother? That was almost as terrifying as being killed himself. As we find in Midrash Rabbah, fratricide is a heavy burden to bear, no matter the circumstances.
And if all that wasn't enough to keep him up at night, Jacob was also nagged by a terrible suspicion: had his father, Isaac, already passed away? He reasoned that Esau wouldn't be making such aggressively hostile moves against his own brother if their father were still alive. The respect for a parent, especially in that time, would have held him back.
So, what do you do when you're facing an army, questioning your worthiness, and fearing the worst? We'll see what Jacob does next, and it might just give us a little insight into how we can face our own battles, big and small. Because sometimes, the greatest battles aren't fought on the battlefield, but within our own hearts.