That’s the tightrope Joseph walked in Egypt, even after his grand reunion with his father, Jacob.
You’d think after all those years of separation and suffering, their reunion would be a time of unadulterated joy. And it was, in many ways. But a shadow lingered.
Joseph, now a powerful viceroy, harbored a deep-seated fear: that his father would uncover the truth about how he ended up in Egypt in the first place— the betrayal by his brothers.
Think about it from Jacob’s perspective. He believed his beloved Joseph was dead, devoured by a wild animal. To learn that his own sons, driven by jealousy, had orchestrated Joseph's disappearance… well, Joseph feared the revelation would be too much.
He worried that in his grief and anger, Jacob might pronounce a curse upon the brothers. And as we know from the power of words in our tradition, especially from the mouths of the righteous, such a curse could have devastating consequences.
So, Joseph, ever the strategist, devised a plan. According to Ginzberg's retelling in Legends of the Jews, he made sure he wasn’t constantly at his father's side. Not because he didn't love him, but because he loved him so much that he was willing to sacrifice their constant companionship to protect his brothers from potential paternal wrath.
It's a fascinating, and perhaps unsettling, look at family dynamics. Joseph avoided being alone with Jacob, carefully managing their interactions. He didn't want to give his father an opening to ask probing questions.
But how could he stay connected? How could he ensure his father was well cared for without raising suspicion? He established a courier service, a kind of ancient postal system, to maintain contact and receive updates on Jacob’s health and well-being. It was a clever solution, allowing him to stay informed without risking a potentially catastrophic confrontation.
This little detail, often overlooked in the grand narrative of Joseph in Egypt, speaks volumes. It reveals the complexities of family relationships, the burden of secrets, and the lengths we go to protect those we love, even when they may have wronged us. It also highlights the power that ancient near eastern cultures attributed to curses and blessings.
So, what do we take away from this? Perhaps a reminder that even in moments of great joy and reconciliation, old wounds can linger. And that sometimes, the most loving act is not necessarily the most obvious one. Sometimes, love requires a little… distance.