You're not alone! The tradition teaches that deep understanding requires dedication, effort, and a willingness to truly delve into the text.
The power to investigate and inquire within the Torah, according to the teachings of the masters of the Mishnah and Talmud, is a gift passed down through generations. A Tanna (a sage of the Mishnaic period) said, "Turn it over and over again, for everything is in it. Look into it, delve into it!" The key, we're told, is that unless we study and understand, the secrets within the Torah will remain hidden. We simply won't grasp the matter.
Think about it. How often do we skim the surface, looking for quick answers? The tradition encourages us to run towards a mitzvah (a commandment or good deed), even on Shabbat, as it is said, "After the Lord, they shall go like a lion, they shall roar" (based on Hosea 11:10). Rabbi Zeira explains that the reward lies in the effort expended in rushing to hear a discourse from a wise sage. Why? Because, well, most people don't understand how to properly transmit teachings after a certain period. The real reward comes from the effort put into studying.
There's even a phrase for this concept: "Agra d'Kalla Dukhta," referring to the Shabbat before a holiday, when everyone gathers to hear the laws of the upcoming celebration. It's all about the effort of gathering together to learn. And then there’s "Agra d'Shma'ata Savra," which signifies toiling, exerting effort, and contemplating to understand the rationale behind something.
But what about the internal struggles we face when wrestling with complex ideas? Tractate Sanhedrin reminds us, "With cunning, you shall make war for yourself." (Proverbs 24:6, understood metaphorically). Rabbi Acha, son of Rabbi Chanina, quoting Rabbi Assi, quoting Rabbi Yochanan, asks a powerful question: "With whom do you find the Torah waging war?" The answer? "With someone who possesses bundles of Mishnah."
It’s not a physical war, of course. It's the war of understanding, fought through teachings, core principles, and deep dives. It’s not about being shallow or sharp-witted with mere opinions. It's about having studied Mishnayot (the earliest compilation of Jewish oral law) and Braitot (teachings from the Tannaic period not included in the Mishnah). Only someone who has studied extensively can truly grasp the essence of the Torah. If understanding falters, they can draw insight from another Mishnah. If something is difficult, they can find clarity in the Mishnayot they already possess. The Gemara and Rashi point to the importance of listening to the teachings of respected rabbis, wherever they may be found.
And as it says in Tractate Chagigah, "The words of the sages are like well-driven nails, given by one shepherd." What does that even mean? Well, the sages are like Mordechai, guiding us toward the paths of life. They are "the ones gathered," the students of the sages who come together and engage in Torah study. They are the ones who decide what is impure and pure, what is prohibited and permitted, what is disqualified and qualified.
Now, you might be thinking, "How can I possibly learn all of this?" The tradition tells us, "They were all given from one Shepherd; one God formed them all." One Provider spoke, from the mouth of the Master of all actions, blessed be He, as it is stated: "And God spoke all these words, saying" (Exodus 20:1).
So, make your ear like a funnel. Acquire understanding to hear the words of both the impure and the pure, the prohibitions and the permissions, the disqualifications and the qualifications. Rashi explains that "One God spoke" means that no disputant brings proof from another source, but only from the Torah of the Holy One, blessed be He. And "one Provider said" means that no one brings proof from the words of a prophet to dispute Moses, our teacher, blessed be he. Listen closely, because it’s all for the sake of Heaven. Strive to hear, learn, and know all of their words. And when you know how to discern which "dry land" established the halakha (Jewish law) like itself... well, then you're on your way.
The Maharsha explains that this is a parable: let many words enter your ear, whether impure or pure, but acquire a discerning heart to distinguish the opinions and determine the halakha accordingly.
Ultimately, the journey of Torah study is a lifelong pursuit. It's about embracing the effort, wrestling with the complexities, and striving for a deeper understanding. It’s about recognizing that the answers aren't always easy, but the reward of understanding is worth the effort. So, keep turning it over and over, delve into it, and unlock the secrets within. Who knows what you might discover?