Humor

2,594 texts · Page 50 of 55

Wit, irony, and laughter in rabbinic literature, from the clever retorts of the sages to the holy fools of Chelm.

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayechi 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the time drew near that Israel must die (Gen. 47:29). It is stated in Scripture in reference to this verse: For we are strangers before Thee, and sojourners, as all our fathers...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayechi 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And it came to pass after these things, that one said to Joseph: “Benold, thy father is sick” (Gen. 48:1). May it please our master to teach us whether a benediction may be recited...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayechi 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

As for Asher, his bread shall be fat (Gen. 49:20). That is, his daughters shall be beautiful, as it is said: For my daughters make me happy (Gen. 30:13). Blessed be Asher above son...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

3:1). Scripture states elsewhere: Every word of God is tried; He is a shield unto them that take refuge in Him (Prov. 30:5). The Holy One, blessed be He, does not confer greatness ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown up (Exod. 2:11). Does not everything grow up? Do not men, beasts, animals, and birds all grow up? Why, then, is this said? I...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 12

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses was content to dwell (Exod. 2:21). The word content (vayo’el) is used with reference to an oath, as in the case of Saul: And he adjured (vayo’el) the people (I Sam. 14:24...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 14

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And he led the flock to the farthest end of the wilderness (Exod. 3:1). In answer to the query Why did he go into the wilderness? R. Johanan said: He went into the wilderness becau...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 15

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And he looked; and behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed (Exod. 3:2). Because of this verse they held: The heavenly fire branches upwards as it burns, bu...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 18

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses went and returned to Jethro, his father-in-law (Exod. 4:18). Scripture states elsewhere: But he is at one with Himself, and who can turn Him? And what His soul desireth, ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 19

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And he said: “Moses, Moses.” and he said: “Here am I” (Exod. 3:4). What is the meaning of Here am I? R. Joshua the son of Karha held: Here am I implies: “I am ready for priesthood ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 20

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord said: I have surely seen the affliction of my people (Exod. 3:7). Scripture states elsewhere For He knoweth base men; and when He seeth iniquity, will He not then cons...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 22

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass (Exod. 4:20). This is one of the ten verses our rabbis altered when they translated the Torah into Greek for King Pto...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 23

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass (Exod. 4:20). The singular form ass is employed here, as when a man says: “Lead out the animal” (though he may have m...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 24

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses and Aaron went and gathered together all the elders of the children of Israel (Exod. 4:29). He told them: The Holy One, blessed be He, has said: I have surely remembered ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 25

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord said to Aaron: “Go into the wilderness to meet Moses” (Exod. 4:27). Scripture states elsewhere in allusion to this verse: God thundereth marvelously with His voice; gr...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shemot 29

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses told Aaron all the words of the Lord (Exod. 4:29). Moses began to reveal to him everything that the Holy One, blessed be He, had told him, and that he was to go perform t...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vaera 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And God spoke unto Moses, and said unto him: “I am the Lord; and I appeared unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob” (Exod. 6:2). May our masters teach us the punishment that is i...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vaera 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And they said: “The God of the Hebrews hath met with us” (Exod. 5:3). Moses and Aaron declared: Perhaps You will say we altered Your words when we told him: “Thus said the Lord, th...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vaera 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

See, I have set thee in God’s stead to Pharaoh, and Aaron thy brother shall be thy prophet (Exod. 7:1). Just as the lecturer sits and lectures, and the interpreter explains his wor...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vaera 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Get thee unto Pharaoh in the morning; lo, he goeth out unto the water (Exod. 7:14). Thus the Lord said: Through this (water) you shall cause him to know that I am the Lord. I will ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vaera 14

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord said unto Moses: “Rise up early in the morning, and stand before Pharaoh; lo, he cometh from the water” (Exod. 8:16). Why did Pharaoh go to the waters early in the mor...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bo 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Stretch out thy hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness (Exod. 10:21). Where did the darkness come from? R. Judah and R. Nehemiah discussed this question. R. Judah held: It ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bo 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Our sages of blessed memory said: The Holy One, blessed be He, followed the military tactics employed by kings when inflicting the plagues upon them. When the people of a province ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bo 12

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And it shall be when the Lord shall bring thee into the land of the Canaanite (Exod. 13:5). (Scripture mentions) five nations though there were (in fact) seven nations.17Cf. Mekhil...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go (Exod. 13:17). The word let go (shallah) indicates “to escort,” as in the verse Abraham went with them to bring them (leshal...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart (Exod. 14:4). This was said because his heart was undecided whether to pursue them or not. And I will get Me honor upon Pharaoh and upon all his h...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And I will get me honor upon Pharaoh (Exod. 14:4). This verse tells us that whenever the Holy One, blessed be He, exacts retribution from the nations, His name is exalted in the wo...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the children of Israel lifted up their eyes … and they were sore afraid (Exod. 14:10). They resorted to the practices of their fathers. It is written of Abraham: And he called ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 12

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

For He is highly exalted (Exod. 15:1). He exalted me and I exalted Him. He exalted me in Egypt, saying: Israel is My son, My firstborn (Exod. 4:22), and I exalted him in Egypt, say...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

The horse and his rider (Exod. 15:1). Was there only one horse? (Of course not!) All the horses were considered by Him as one, as in the verse When thou goest forth to battle again...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 16

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And in the greatness of Thine excellence (Exod. 15:7). You have increased Your excellency against all who rose up against You. Who were those that rose up against You? They were th...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 17

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

The deeps were congealed (Exod. 15:8). He fashioned them into a kind of vault. In the heart of the sea (ibid.). Where is a man’s heart located? It is located just above two thirds ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 18

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses led Israel onward from the Red Sea, and they went out into the wilderness of Shur (Exod. 15:22). The wilderness of Shur is actually the wilderness of Kazab. They say that...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 19

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And they went three days in the wilderness, and found no water (Exod. 15:22). Some say that the water they had taken with them, from between the rocks, was exhausted by that time. ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 21

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses said unto Aaron: “Take a jar and put an omerful of manna therein” (Exod. 16:33). I would not know of what substance the jar was fashioned, whether of silver or of gold or...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 22

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb (Exod. 17:6). The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: Wherever you find the imprint of a man’s foot, there I stand b...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 23

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Our sages of blessed memory said: “Observe that the way of the Holy One, blessed be He, is not the way of man.” It is not man’s way to heal with what he wounds. If he wounds with a...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 24

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Then Moses sang (Exod. 15:1). May our master teach us whether one may place a plaster upon a sore on the Sabbath? Thus do our masters teach us: It is forbidden to place a plaster u...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 25

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Then came Amalek and fought with Israel in Rephidim (Exod. 17:8). R. Eliezer the son of Hisma said: This verse should be understood and interpreted in relation to the verse quoted ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 26

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Moses said unto Joshua: “Choose us out men, and go out, fight with Amalek” (Exod. 17:9). From this verse it is apparent that Moses treated his disciple Joshua as his equal. Thi...

Midrash Tanchuma, Yitro 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

18:1). Scripture says elsewhere in allusion to this verse: Thine ointments have a goodly fragrance; thy name is an ointment poured forth; therefore do the maidens love thee (Song 1...

Midrash Tanchuma, Yitro 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

18:1). Jethro was known by seven names. He was called Jethro (yitro) because he added (yater) a chapter to the law, that is, the chapter dealing with judges. He was called Hobab (h...

Midrash Tanchuma, Yitro 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace (Exod. 19:18). What furnace? Perhaps it is comparable to this furnace? Therefore Scripture says: And the mountain burned wi...

Midrash Tanchuma, Yitro 16

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

I am the Lord thy God (Exod. 20:1). May it please our master to teach us: If a fire breaks out in a house in which there is a scroll of the Torah and other books, may their owner s...

Midrash Tanchuma, Mishpatim 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

21:1). R. Abahu said in the name of R. Yosé the son of Zimra: Whenever the word eleh (“these”) is written, the lack of importance of the earlier generations is indicated, but whene...

Midrash Tanchuma, Mishpatim 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

A question: An Israelite involved in a litigation with his neighbor, is prohibited from going to a heathen judge for judgment,4See Rashi on the beginning of Exod. 21:1 and above Ta...

Midrash Tanchuma, Mishpatim 12

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

If thou lend money to any of my people (Exod. 22:24). Scripture states elsewhere in reference to this verse: Well is it with the man that dealeth graciously and lendeth, that order...

Midrash Tanchuma, Mishpatim 15

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

If thou lend money to any of My people (Exod. 22:24). R. Tanhuma began the discussion with the verse: He that is gracious unto the poor lendeth unto the Lord … He will repay unto H...