Humor

2,594 texts · Page 51 of 55

Wit, irony, and laughter in rabbinic literature, from the clever retorts of the sages to the holy fools of Chelm.

Midrash Tanchuma, Mishpatim 17

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Behold, I send an angel before thee, to keep thee (Exod. 23:20). Scripture says elsewhere in reference to this verse: But I said: “How would I put thee among the sons, and give the...

Midrash Tanchuma, Terumah 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

That they take for Me an offering (Exod. 25:2). Scripture says elsewhere in allusion to this verse: For I give you good doctrine; forsake ye not My teaching (Prov. 4:2). R. Simeon ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Terumah 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

That they make for me an offering (Exod. 25:2). Scripture says elsewhere in allusion to this verse: I have loved you, saith the Lord, yet ye say: “Wherein hast Thou loved us?” (Mal...

Midrash Tanchuma, Terumah 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And this is the offering which ye shall take of them: gold, silver, and brass; and blue and purple and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats’ hair; and rams’ skins dyed red, etc. (Exo...

Midrash Tanchuma, Terumah 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

This is the offering which ye shall take of them: gold, etc. (Exod. 25:3). The gold corresponds to the kingdom of Babylon, as it is written concerning her: Thou art the head of gol...

Midrash Tanchuma, Terumah 8

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And let them make Me a sanctuary, that I may dwell among them (Exod. 25:8). On which day did He relate to Moses the portion relating to the Temple? It was on the Day of Atonement. ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Terumah 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And thou shalt make curtains of goats’ hair for a tent (Exod. 26:7). Scripture says elsewhere in allusion to this verse: I have loved you, saith the Lord, yet ye say: “Wherein hast...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tetzaveh 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And thou shalt command the children of Israel (Exod. 27:20). May it please our masters to teach us: At what age must an infant be circumcised? So do our masters teach us: An infant...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tetzaveh 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And thou shalt command (Exod. 27:20). It is written elsewhere in Scripture: Thy head (roshekh) upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair (dalat) of thy head like the purple; and the k...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tetzaveh 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

This is the thing that thou shalt do unto them (Exod. 29:11). Scripture says elsewhere in allusion to this verse: The wise shall inherit honor; but as for the fools, they carry awa...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tetzaveh 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

This is the thing that thou shalt do unto them (to hallow them … take one young bullock and two rams without blemish, and unleavened bread) (Exod. 29:1). You shall do it for them, ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tetzaveh 14

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And thou shalt make an altar to burn incense (Exod. 30:1). What do the letters in the word ketoret (“incense”) stand for? The kuf stands for kedushah (“sanctification”), tet for ta...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tetzaveh 15

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And thou shalt make an altar to burn incense upon (Exod. 30:1). Scripture states elsewhere in allusion to this verse: Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart (Prov. 27:9). This vers...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

When thou takest the sum of the children of Israel (Exod. 30:12). Scripture states elsewhere in allusion to this verse: Thy navel is like a round goblet, thy belly is like a heap o...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

When thou takest the sum (Exod. 30:12).11This entire section is to be found almost verbatim in Pesikta de-Rav Kahana, pisha 2:4–5. R. Jonah began to discuss the verse For God is ju...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

This they shall give, everyone that passeth among them that are numbered, half a shekel (Exod. 30:13). Because they had sinned at the sixth hour,16Word-play reading the word boshet...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

When thou takest the sum of the children of Israel … then shall they give every man a ransom (Exod. 30:12). When Moses heard this, he said: Skin for skin, yea, all that a man hath ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 14

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of speaking (Exod. 31:18). R. Tanhuma began the discussion with the verse: Unto Thee, O Lord, belongeth righteousness, but unto us c...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 20

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord spoke unto Moses: “Go, get thee down…. I have seen this people, and behold, it is a stiff-necked people” (Exod. 32:7–9). R. Tanhuma the son of Abba began the discussio...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 21

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Go, get thee down (Exod. 32:7). The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moses: Mankind has already compelled Me to descend from this place to witness its degradation, as is said: And ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 24

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel (Exod. 32:13). It is written elsewhere in reference to this verse: And when they shall say to you: “Seek unto the ghosts and the familiar spirit...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 26

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord spoke unto Moses: “Depart, go up hence” (Exod. 33:1). This is what Scripture says in allusion to this verse: For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 27

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And now Moses used to take the tent and to pitch it without the camp, afar off (Exod. 33:7). R. Simeon the son of Lakish held that Moses made his decision by an inference ad minore...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 28

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

The Lord said to Moses: “Hew these two tablets of stone” (Exod. 34:1). May it please our masters to teach us: How many verses of the Torah must the reader recite? Thus did our mast...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 30

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Hew these two tablets of stone (Exod. 34:1). Scripture states elsewhere in allusion to this verse: The wrath of a king is as messengers of death; but a wise man will pacify it (Pro...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 32

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord descended in the cloud, and stood with him there (Exod. 34:5). How fortunate was Moses was that he could come before the Omnipresent while no angel or seraph was able ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 33

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord said unto Moses: “Write thou these words” (Exod. 34:27). May our masters teach us: Is one who writes two letters on the Sabbath (while unmindful of the prohibition or ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 34

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And the Lord said unto Moses: “Write thou these words, for after the tenor of these words I have made a covenant with thee and with Israel” (Exod. 34:27). Scripture states elsewher...

Midrash Tanchuma, Ki Tisa 35

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another comment on write thee (Exod. 34:27). Scripture states elsewhere: Let them be thine only, and not a stranger’s with thee (Prov. 5:17). What does this verse refer to? When th...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayakhel 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And he hath filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge (Exod. 35:31). Wisdom is mentioned, despite the fact that he had been endowed previousl...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayakhel 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

See, he hath called by name Bezalel (Exod. 35:30). Observe what He did for Bezalel. The Holy One, blessed be He, instilled wisdom in his heart, as it is said: And he hath filled hi...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayakhel 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Bezalel made the ark (Exod. 37:1). You do not find Bezalel’s name associated with any vessel made for the Sanctuary other than the ark. All the other work and all the other imp...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayakhel 8

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And Bezalel made the ark of acacia-wood (Exod. 37:1). Because it was known to Him-who-spoke-and-the-world-came into-being that Israel will sin at Shittim, the Holy One, blessed be ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pekudei 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

These are the accounts of the tabernacle (Exod. 38:21). Scripture states elsewhere: Lord, I love the habitation of Thy house, and the place where Thy glory dwelleth (Ps. 26:8). Thi...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pekudei 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

For example, Bezalel, who built the ark, was extolled before the Holy One, blessed be He, and the angels. He was praised in the upper regions and in the terrestrial regions, as it ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pekudei 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

These are the accounts of the Tabernacle (Exod. 38:21). Scripture states elsewhere: A faithful man shall abound with blessings; but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be unp...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pekudei 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

These are the accounts of the tabernacle, even the tabernacle of the testimony (Exod. 38:21). The Tabernacle bears testimony to the entire world that He forgave them for the episod...

Midrash Tanchuma, Pekudei 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

These are the accounts of the tabernacle … and the bronze of the offering (Exod. 38:21, 29). The bronze of the offering (tenufah) refers to the bronze vessels given to a bride, for...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayikra 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 1:1:) “Then [the Lord] called unto Moses [and spoke unto him].” This text is related (to Ps. 103:20), “Bless the Lord, O His messengers,1Mal’akhaw. Throughout this section of...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayikra 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 1:7:) “And the sons of Aaron the Priest shall put fire upon the altar, and they shall lay wood in order upon the fire.” (Tamid 2:3:) All of the trees are proper for [altar] f...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayikra 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 4:1–2:) “And the Lord spoke unto Moses, saying, … ‘When a soul sins [by mistake]….’” Let our master instruct us: Is it right for one to enter the Temple Mount with his staff ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Vayikra 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 5:1:) “And if a soul sins in that it hears a voice swearing […, if he does not speak out, he shall bear his iniquity].” This text is related (to Eccl. 5:1), “Do not be rash w...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tzav 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation (of Lev. 7:11), “This is the law of the sacrifice for peace offerings.” This text is related (to Ps. 85:9), “Let me hear what God, the Lord, will speak; for ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tzav 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 7:12:) “If he offers it for a thanksgiving, and he shall sacrifice.” See how the Holy One, blessed be He, forgives the sins of Israel. See what did they offer to the Holy One...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shmini 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 10:8-9:) “And the Lord spoke unto Aaron, [saying], ‘Drink no wine or intoxicating liquor.’” Why did He give a commandment concerning wine?13Lev. R. 12:1; cf. Numb. R. 10:2; M...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shmini 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 11:1-2) “Then the Lord spoke unto Moses…, saying, ‘… these are the creatures that you may eat….’” Let our master instruct us: How many [types of] pure animals are there are i...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shmini 8

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Three things Moses found difficult and the Holy One, blessed be He, showed them to him with a finger and these are them: The making of the menorah, the moon, and creeping things.35...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shmini 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And it was on the eighth day: Rabbi Tanchuma, Rabbi Chiya, Rabbah and Rabbi Berakhiya in the name of Rabbi Elazar [all] said, "Any place that it is stated, 'and it was (vayehi),' i...