Humor

2,594 texts · Page 52 of 55

Wit, irony, and laughter in rabbinic literature, from the clever retorts of the sages to the holy fools of Chelm.

Midrash Tanchuma, Shmini 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

All of those seven days that Moshe was occupied with the tabernacle, he was sprinkling the blood and incinerating the fats. The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him, "What do you t...

Midrash Tanchuma, Shmini 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

And to the elders of Israel: Rabbi Akiva said, "Israel is compared to a bird - just like a bird cannot fly without wings, so [too,] Israel cannot do anything without elders. Rabbi ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tazria 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 12:2:) “When a woman emits her seed and bears a male.” This text is related (to Job 29:2), “O that I were as in the months of old, [as in the days when God watched over me]!”...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tazria 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation (of Lev. 12:2), “When a woman emits her seed [and bears a male]”: If the woman comes first, she bears a male; if the man comes first, [she bears] a female.8B...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tazria 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 12:3:) “And on the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.” It is not written here that one lays out expenses over circumcision. See how much Israel loves ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tazria 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 13:2:) “When anyone has [on the skin of his flesh a swelling or a sore or a bright spot].” This text is related (to (Job 38:2)5), “Who split open a channel for the flow (shtp...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tazria 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 13:2) “When anyone has on the skin of his flesh.” Why does it not say, “Speak unto the Children of Israel,” just as it says in all the [other] sections22In the Pentateuch the...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tazria 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 13:2), “When anyone has on the skin of his flesh.” This text is related (to Ps. 5:5), “For You are not a God who delights in wickedness. [This verse is] to teach you that the...

Midrash Tanchuma, Tazria 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 13:2), “When anyone has on the skin of his flesh.” Why do the plagues come?50Cf. Lev. R. 17:3. Because of harlotry. And so you find in Jerusalem, that because they were absor...

Midrash Tanchuma, Metzora 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 14:2:) “This shall be the law of the leper.” Let our master instruct us: How many people have no share in the world to come?1Numb. R. 14:1; PR 6:4; ARN, A, 36; Midrash on Pro...

Midrash Tanchuma, Metzora 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 14:2:) “This shall be the law of the leper.” This text is related (to Prov. 18:21), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Everything depends on the tongue. [If] on...

Midrash Tanchuma, Metzora 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 14:2:) “In the day of his cleansing.” [With what?]20Lev. R. 16:7. With (according to vs. 4) “two live clean birds.” How is his offering different from all [other] offerings? ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Metzora 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 14:2:) “This shall be the law of the leper.” Let our master instruct us: For how many things does leprosy come? Thus have our masters taught: The affliction comes [upon one] ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Metzora 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 15:25) “And when a woman has had a discharge of blood for many days.” Let our master instruct us: Is it permitted for a menstruant to sleep in the same bed with her husband, ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Metzora 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 15:25:) “And when a woman has had a discharge of blood for many days.” Why a woman and not a man? Previously it applied to men and women. Thus it is stated (in Lev. 15:2), “W...

Midrash Tanchuma, Achrei Mot 1

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 16:1:) “After the death of Aaron's two sons.” This text is related (to Eccl. 9:2), “Since everything [happens] to everyone, the same lot [falls] to the righteous and to the w...

Midrash Tanchuma, Achrei Mot 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

R. Ahawa bar Ze'era opened (with Job 37:1), “At this also my heart trembles and leaps from its place.” What is the meaning of “and leaps?”33PRK 26(27):5; Lev. R. 20:5. Jumps, as [S...

Midrash Tanchuma, Achrei Mot 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 17:3:) “If any single person from the House of Israel.” This text is related (to Ps. 51:20–21), “Make Zion prosper in Your good pleasure; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then...

Midrash Tanchuma, Achrei Mot 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 17:3:) “If any single person from the House of Israel slaughters.” R. Aqiva says, “When Israel was in the desert, they would slaughter cattle by stabbing and eat them; but he...

Midrash Tanchuma, Achrei Mot 12

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 17:3-4:) “If any single person from the House of Israel slaughters […]. And does not bring it unto the entrance of the tent of meeting.” Isaiah has said (in Is. 66:3), “One w...

Midrash Tanchuma, Kedoshim 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 19:2:) “Speak unto the whole congregation of the Children of Israel, and say unto them, ‘You shall be holy.’” What reason did He have to speak this parashah in an assembly?5 ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Kedoshim 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 19:2:) “You shall be holy.”7Tanh., Gen. 1:7. See what is written (in Josh. 24:19), “for He is a holy God (in the plural).”8The words, HOLY and GOD, are both plural in the Heb...

Midrash Tanchuma, Kedoshim 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 19:23:) “Now when you come into the land and plant any tree for food.” This text is related (to Zech. 8:11-12), “But now [I will not treat the remnant of this people] as in t...

Midrash Tanchuma, Kedoshim 8

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 19:23:) “When you come into the land and plant.” The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Israel, Even though you find it (i.e., the land) full of all bounty, you shall not say, ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Kedoshim 14

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 19:23:) “And plant [any tree for food], you shall count (rt.: 'rl) [its fruit] as forbidden (literally, as foreskin, rt.: 'rl)….” [This verse] is teaching about an infant: (i...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 21:1:) “Then the Lord said unto Moses, ‘Say unto the priests […], and say unto them.”17A somewhat awkward translation of this verse and others that follow is necessary, becau...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

What is written after this passage (in Lev. 21:10)? “And the priest that is highest among his brothers”22Lev. R. 26:9. Why is he called by the name, “high priest?”23THE PRIEST THAT...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 6

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Ps. 36:7:) “Your righteousness (rt.: tsdq) is like the mighty mountains; [Your judgments are like the great deep].” R. Judah bar Simon said, “The charity (rt.: tsdq) which You did...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 7

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

R. Tanhuma opened [his discourse] (with Job 41:3), “Who has advanced Me anything that I shall repay him; everything under the heavens is Mine.”40Lev. R. 27:2; PRK 9:2. This refers ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 8

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 22:27) “When a bull or a sheep or a goat.” R. Jacob bar Zavday in the name of R. Abbahu opened [his discourse] (with Ezek. 29:16), “And it shall no more be a source of satisf...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 10

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 22:27:) “When a bull or a sheep or a goat […].” This text is related (to Micah 6:3), “My people, what have I done to you and how have I wearied you; testify against Me.”51PRK...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 11

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 22:27:) “A bull or a sheep or a goat.” This text is related (to Is. 41:24), “Behold (hen), you are nothing (me'ayin), and your work is naught (me’afa’); an abomination shall ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 22:28:) “In the case of an animal from the herd or the flock, [you shall not slaughter] it and its offspring on the same day.”66Although the nouns here are masculine singular...

Midrash Tanchuma, Emor 16

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 22:27:) “When a bull or a sheep or a goat.” This text is related (to Ps. 27:6), “And now shall my head be lifted up over my enemies round about me and I will offer sacrifice ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bechukotai 2

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Lev. 26:3:) “If you walk in My statutes….” This text is related (to Hos. 9:17), “My God will reject them because they did not heed Him….” The Holy One, blessed be He, said, “I hav...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bechukotai 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation (of Lev. 27:2) “When anyone explicitly vows […]”: This text is related (to Prov. 11:30), “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, but a wise person acq...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 3

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 1:1:) “Then the Lord spoke unto Moses in the Sinai desert, in the tent of meeting.” Before the tent of meeting was set up, He spoke with him in the bush, as stated (in Exod....

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 4

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 1:1-2) “Then the Lord spoke unto Moses in the Sinai desert […, ‘Take a census of the whole congregation of the Children of Israel…’].” This text is related (to Cant. 7:3), “...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 5

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 1:1-2) “Then the Lord spoke unto Moses in the Sinai desert […,] ‘Take a census of the whole congregation.” This text is related (to Ps. 147:20), “He has not done so for any ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 9

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 2:1-2:) “Then the Lord spoke unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying, ‘[The Children of Israel shall camp,] each with his standard, under the banners….’” Let our master instruct u...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 12

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 2:2:) “Each with his standard, under the banners for their fathers' house.” [This text is related] (to Job 36:3), “I will fetch my knowledge from afar, and justify my maker....

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 13

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 2:2:) “Each with his standard.” This text is related (to Deut. 32:10), “He found him (i.e., Jacob) in a desert land.” [It was] a great find, [when] the Holy One, blessed be ...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 14

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation (of Numb. 2:2), “Each with his standard, under the banners.” This text is related (to Cant. 2:4), “He brought me unto the banquet house, [and His standard (d...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 15

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 3:14-15) “And the Lord spoke to Israel in the Sinai Desert, saying enroll the Children of Levi….” This text is related (to Ps. 92:13), “The righteous one shall flourish like...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 20

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

Another interpretation (of Numb. 3:40), “enroll every first-born male.” This text is related (to Cant. 6:8-9), “There are sixty queens, eighty concubines, and maidens without numbe...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 23

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 4:18:) “Do not cut off.” Let our master instruct us: In the case of one who commits a transgression punishable with excision according to the Torah, how do they receive pard...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 24

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 4:18:) “Do not cut off.” This text is related (to Ps. 33:18), “Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him….” The text speaks along many lines of thought.121Shittim...

Midrash Tanchuma, Bamidbar 25

Midrash Tanchuma Midrash Tanchuma

(Numb. 4:18) “Do not cut off.” See how well the text has said (in II (Kings 14:2)7), “And the Lord did not resolve to blot out the name of Israel from under the heavens.” The Holy ...