Even King Solomon, the wisest of all men, felt that way.
Let's dive into Midrash Mishlei – a collection of stories and interpretations that unpack the Book of Proverbs. And right at the beginning, in Proverbs 1:4, we find the verse: "To give prudence to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion."
This verse got Solomon thinking. He basically said, "Hey, I was once 'simple' – maybe even a little naive! – but HaShem, the Holy One, blessed be He, gave me prudence – the ability to make wise decisions. I was a na'ar, a youth, and He gave me da'at u'mizimah, knowledge and discretion." (Midrash Mishlei 1:4)
Isn’t that something? Even Solomon, blessed with unparalleled wisdom, recognized that he wasn't born knowing everything. Wisdom, prudence, discretion – these are gifts, often hard-earned, and frequently given by something bigger than ourselves.
But it begs the question: When should we expect to have these qualities? When are we no longer considered "simple" or "young?" The Rabbis of the Talmud debated this very point.
The Midrash asks: at what age should a person be expected to have prudence? The answer? From twenty years old and above. But what about that "young man" mentioned in the verse? How long does youth last?
We get some interesting opinions here. Rabbi Meir says a person is considered a youth until 25. Rabbi Akiva pushes it a bit further, saying it’s until 30!
But Rabbi Ishmael offers a different perspective altogether. He says, no, it's not either of those. He argues that a person is considered a youth until the age of twenty. Why? Because, as it says in the Torah, "from twenty years and above he will come to work service." What service is being referred to? Resh Lakish says there is no service except prayer, as it says, "Serve the Lord with fear."
Rabbi Ishmael’s reasoning is fascinating. From the age of twenty, a person is considered responsible for their actions, especially in the eyes of Heaven. As it says, "from twenty years and above his sins are considered against him." From the time he is considered for service – prayer – he is considered for transgression. It’s a sobering thought, isn't it?
So, what's the takeaway? Perhaps it's this: Wisdom and discretion aren't simply a matter of age. They're a matter of responsibility, of recognizing that our actions have consequences, and of actively seeking guidance – from our traditions, from our communities, and from the Divine. Maybe "growing up" isn't about a number, but about a shift in perspective, a willingness to learn, and a commitment to serving something greater than ourselves.