It’s a human experience, unfortunately, one that even touched the lives of the biblical figures we often hold up as paragons of virtue. Let’s turn to Gad, one of the twelve sons of Jacob, whose story in Legends of the Jews (Ginzberg) reveals a painful struggle with hatred and its consequences.
Gad, as the story goes, lived a long and full life, reaching 125 years. Before his death, he gathered his sons and recounted his life, particularly focusing on his complicated relationship with his brother, Joseph. Gad paints a picture of himself as a strong, capable shepherd, protecting his flock from wild animals. He recounts how Joseph, after tending the flocks with them for a time, reported back to their father Jacob that the sons of Zilpah and Bilhah (Gad included) were slaughtering the best animals without consulting Reuben and Judah.
And here’s where the trouble begins. Joseph, in his role, also reported on Gad's actions, mentioning how Gad once rescued a lamb from a bear, killed the bear, and then slaughtered the lamb because it was too injured. This, it seems, was the last straw. As Gad confesses to his sons, “I was wroth with Joseph for his talebearing, until he was sold into Egypt. I would neither look upon him nor hear aught about him…”
Gad's resentment festered. He admits, “Now I confess my sin, that ofttimes I longed to kill him, for I hated him from the bottom of my heart, and on account of his dreams I hated him still more, and I desired to destroy him from off the land of the living.” Can you feel the intensity of that hatred? It’s a stark reminder that even within the family of Jacob, jealousy and animosity could run deep.
But here’s the twist. Gad doesn’t just confess his hatred; he reflects on it. He recognizes the destructive nature of animosity, describing it as “the constant companion of deception.” It magnifies small issues, distorts truth, and leads to anger, war, and violence. It’s a powerful indictment of the corrosive effects of holding onto anger. Gad ultimately acknowledges that Judah’s act of selling Joseph into slavery saved him from committing a terrible sin.
So, what changed? How did Gad move from murderous hatred to a place of reflection and repentance? He tells his sons that his teshuvah (repentance) came about through suffering. God afflicted him with a liver ailment, mirroring the lack of mercy his liver – his inner being – had shown to Joseph. He suffered for eleven months, the same length of time as his enmity towards his brother. It was only through the prayers of his father, Jacob, that he found relief.
Gad's story becomes a lesson for his sons, and for us. He urges them to uproot hatred from their hearts and cultivate love for one another. He advises them not to envy those who are more fortunate and to trust in God’s ultimate judgment. Gad even instructs them to honor Judah and Levi, from whose descendants a savior will arise for Israel. He even foresaw a time when his own descendants would stray from God, succumbing to wickedness. It’s a sobering prophecy, highlighting the constant struggle between good and evil.
According to Ginzberg's retelling, Gad's final words are a call to obedience: "My children, hearken unto your father, and bury me with my fathers." After his death, his sons honored his request, carrying his remains to Hebron.
What can we take away from Gad's story? Perhaps it’s a reminder that even those who seem strong and righteous can struggle with powerful, negative emotions. Perhaps it’s a testament to the transformative power of repentance and the importance of choosing love over hatred. Or perhaps it’s simply a cautionary tale about the destructive nature of grudges and the importance of forgiveness. Whatever your interpretation, Gad's journey from hatred to repentance offers a valuable lesson for us all.