Psalm 27:13, "If I did not believe in seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living..." It’s a powerful line, isn't it? A raw admission of vulnerability, immediately followed by a defiant declaration of faith. But what exactly is the Psalmist saying here? What is that "if not"?
The Rabbis of the Midrash, those master interpreters of sacred texts, grappled with this very question. They saw in this verse, and in similar constructions throughout the Tanakh (Hebrew Bible), a profound truth about the nature of divine grace and the sources of our strength.
Zevadi the son of Levi offers one perspective. He suggests that whenever we encounter the phrase "if not for," it points to the enduring merit of our avot, our forefathers. He even pulls in a verse from Genesis (43:10) to illustrate. Remember the story of Jacob sending his sons back to Egypt for grain? "For had we not delayed," they say, "surely we would have returned twice." Zevadi sees in this a hidden message: that even their safe passage was due to the legacy of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Without their merit, they wouldn't have returned in peace.
But that's not the only interpretation. Rabbi Yochanan takes a different tack. He argues that every "if not for" is ultimately due to the merit of the Almighty Himself. As Isaiah 1:9 says, "If not for the Lord of hosts having left us a remnant, we would be as Sodom, we would have been like Gomorrah." It's a reminder that our very existence, our survival in the face of adversity, is a gift from God. Pure grace.
And then there's Rabbi Levi. He adds another layer to the onion. He says that the "if not for" is also thanks to the merit of the Torah itself. : Psalm 119:92 says, "If Your Torah had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction." The Torah, in this view, isn't just a book of laws; it's a source of solace, a lifeline in times of trouble. It’s the wisdom and guidance that sustains us.
Ultimately, Rabbi Levi brings us back to where we started, to the verse in Tehillim (Psalms) itself: "If I did not believe in seeing the goodness of the Lord." He says that the ability to believe, to hold onto faith even when surrounded by darkness, is itself a merit. It's an act of defiance, a refusal to surrender to despair.
So, what does all this mean for us today?
Perhaps it's this: that our safety net isn't woven from just one thread, but many. It's the legacy of our ancestors, the grace of God, the wisdom of the Torah, and, perhaps most importantly, our own unwavering faith. Each strand reinforces the others, creating a tapestry of resilience that can withstand even the fiercest storms.
And maybe, just maybe, recognizing these sources of strength is the first step towards truly seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.