It's not just a love poem; it's a wellspring of teachings, and today we're diving into Shir HaShirim Rabbah 4 to explore a fascinating story about marriage, devotion, and the power of prayer.
The verse we're focusing on is "let us exult and rejoice in you." But what does that really mean? The Rabbis find layers upon layers of meaning in this verse.
First, it brings up the topic of procreation. Now, Jewish law, or halakha, states that if a couple is married for ten years and hasn't had children, the husband has an obligation to take another wife—either in addition to, or instead of, the first—in order to fulfill the mitzvah, or commandment, of having children. It’s a sensitive issue. What happens when love and longing meet the weight of tradition?
That’s where our story comes in. Rabbi Idi tells of a couple from Sidon who had been married for ten years without conceiving. They went to Rabbi Shimon bar Yoḥai—a towering figure in Jewish mysticism—seeking a divorce. Rabbi Shimon, wise as he was, said, “Just as you came together with food and drink, so too shall you separate only with food and drink.” In other words: celebrate your relationship, honor it, even as you consider its end.
So, they threw a big party, a real feast. The wife, hoping to change her husband's mind, encouraged him to drink freely. When he was feeling merry, he told her, "My daughter, take any good item that I have in the house, take it, and go to your father’s house."
Now, here’s where the story takes a beautiful turn. After he fell asleep, she instructed her servants to carry him, in his bed, to her father's house! When he woke up in the middle of the night, confused, he asked, "Where am I?" She replied, "In my father's house." And when he questioned why, she responded, "Didn't you tell me to take any good item in the house? There is no item in this world better for me than you."
Isn’t that a powerful declaration of love and devotion?
They went back to Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai, and he prayed for them. And, as the story goes, they were "remembered"—she conceived. The Midrash tells us that this teaches us that just as God remembers the barren, so too, the righteous cause the barren to be remembered. It's a testament to the power of prayer and the merit of those who act with love and compassion.
But the interpretation doesn't stop there! The text infers that if a woman was "remembered" because she declared her husband the most precious thing to her, how much more so will God remember Israel, who waits for salvation and declares, "There is nothing good in the world other than You"?
This leads us back to our verse, "let us exult and rejoice in you.” The text uses an analogy to illustrate this point further: a noblewoman whose husband the king, her sons, and her sons-in-law have gone overseas. When told of her sons’ return, she's indifferent, saying, "Let my daughters-in-law rejoice." The same goes for her sons-in-law. But when they announce the king's return, she exclaims, "This is complete joy, joy compounded by joy!"
Similarly, in the future, the prophets will announce the return of Israel’s sons and daughters to Jerusalem, but Jerusalem's ultimate joy will only be realized with the coming of the Messiah, the king. As Zechariah 9:9 says, "Behold, your king is coming to you, righteous and victorious!" At that moment, Jerusalem, and by extension, the Jewish people, will say, "I will be gladdened in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God" (Isaiah 61:10).
So, what can we take away from this? This passage from Shir HaShirim Rabbah reminds us of the importance of devotion in relationships, the power of prayer, and the ultimate joy that comes from our relationship with God. It’s a beautiful reminder that true joy isn't found in fleeting moments, but in the unwavering presence of something greater than ourselves. What relationships in your life could use a little more "exulting and rejoicing?" And how can you bring that spirit into your connection with the Divine?