His story, often overshadowed, takes some fascinating turns, especially concerning his wives.
According to Legends of the Jews, that incredible compilation of rabbinic lore by Louis Ginzberg, Ishmael, son of Abraham and Hagar, had quite the journey. After being sent away into the wilderness, Ishmael eventually marries and has children. God, we're told, blessed Ishmael with flocks and herds because of Abraham, his father. But there's a poignant moment, a father's yearning, that sets in motion an interesting domestic drama.
Abraham, missing his son, decides to visit Ishmael after a long absence. He travels to the wilderness, arriving at Ishmael's tent around noon. But Ishmael isn't there; he's out hunting. Abraham finds Ishmael's wife, surrounded by her children, but her demeanor is far from welcoming. Now, remember, Abraham had sworn to Sarah that he wouldn't dismount his camel. So, there he sits, a weary traveler, asking for a little water.
The response he gets? Stone-cold silence and then a flat, "We have neither water nor bread." What's worse, she's busy scolding and even cursing her children, and speaking ill of Ishmael. Abraham, witnessing this, is understandably disturbed.
Still on his camel, Abraham instructs the woman: "When Ishmael returns, tell him that an old man from the land of the Philistines came seeking him. Tell him: ‘Put away this tent-pin which thou hast placed here, and place another tent-pin in its stead.'" A cryptic message. When Ishmael returns and hears his wife's account, he understands. He recognizes his father's veiled criticism. The "tent-pin," you see, is a metaphor. Abraham is telling Ishmael to divorce his wife because she isn't honoring him or their family. And Ishmael, honoring his father, does just that.
Fast forward a few years. Abraham, still longing to see his son, makes another trip. This time, he finds Ishmael remarried. And what a difference! Ishmael is out hunting, but his new wife welcomes Abraham with open arms. She urges him to enter the tent, offering him bread and water. Abraham, though initially hesitant, accepts her hospitality, eats, drinks, and blesses Ishmael.
Before leaving, Abraham gives her another message: "When Ishmael comes home, tell him: ‘The tent-pin which thou hast is very good, do not put it away from the tent.'" This time, the message is clear: This wife is a keeper!
When Ishmael returns, his wife joyfully recounts the old man's visit. Ishmael understands that his father approves. This time, he praises the Lord and, in a beautiful act of reconciliation, takes his new wife, his children, and all his possessions, and goes to live with his father, Abraham, in the land of the Philistines. Abraham then tells Ishmael the whole story of the first wife and why he had instructed him to divorce her.
What does this story tell us? It’s a reminder that family relationships are complex, even for the patriarchs. It speaks to the importance of honoring one's spouse and the impact that a partner can have on a family's well-being. It also highlights the enduring bond between a father and son, even when their paths diverge. And perhaps, most profoundly, it shows us that even in the wilderness, hospitality, kindness, and respect can create a home.
The wife of Ishmael bore four sons and a daughter, and afterward Ishmael, his mother, and his wife and children went and returned to the wilderness. They made themselves tents in the wilderness in which they dwelt, and they continued to encamp and journey, month by month and year by year. And God gave Ishmael flocks, and herds, and tents, on account of Abraham his father, and the man increased in cattle. And some time after, Abraham said to Sarah, his wife, "I will go and see my son Ishmael; I yearn to look upon him, for I have not seen him for a long time." And Abraham rode upon one of his camels to the wilderness, to seek his son Ishmael, for he heard that he was dwelling in a tent in the wilderness with all belonging to him. And Abraham went to the wilderness, and he reached the tent of Ishmael about noon, and he asked after him. He found the wife of Ishmael sitting in the tent with her children, and her husband and his mother were not with them. And Abraham asked the wife of Ishmael, saying, "Where has Ishmael gone?" And she said, "He has gone to the field to hunt game." And Abraham was still mounted upon the camel, for he would not alight upon the ground, as he had sworn to his wife Sarah that he would not get off from the camel. And Abraham said to Ishmael's wife, "My daughter, give me a little water, that I may drink, for I am fatigued and tired from the journey." And Ishmael's wife answered, and said to Abraham, "We have neither water nor bread," and she was sitting in the tent, and did not take any notice of Abraham. She did not even ask him who he was. But all the while she was beating her children in the tent, and she was cursing them, and she also cursed her husband Ishmael, and spoke evil of him, and Abraham heard the words of Ishmael's wife to her children, and it was an evil thing in his eyes. And Abraham called to the woman to come out to him from the tent, and the woman came out, and stood face to face with Abraham, while Abraham was still mounted upon the camel. And Abraham said to Ishmael's wife, "When thy husband Ishmael returns home, say these words to him: A very old man from the land of the Philistines came hither to seek thee, and his appearance was thus and so, and thus was his figure. I did not ask him who he was, and seeing thou wast not here, he spoke unto me, and said, When Ishmael thy husband returns, tell him, Thus did the man say, When thou comest home, put away this tent-pin which thou hast placed here, and place another tent-pin in its stead." And Abraham finished his instructions to the woman, and he turned and went off on the camel homeward. And when Ishmael returned to the tent, he heard the words of his wife, and he knew that it was his father, and that his wife had not honored him. And Ishmael understood his father's words that he had spoken to his wife, and he hearkened to the voice of his father, and he divorced his wife, and she went away. And Ishmael afterward went to the land of Canaan, and he took another wife, and he brought her to his tent, to the place where he dwelt. And at the end of three years, Abraham said, "I will go again and see Ishmael my son, for I have not seen him for a long time." And he rode upon his camel, and went to the wilderness, and he reached the tent of Ishmael about noon. And he asked after Ishmael, and his wife came out of the tent, and she said, "He is not here, my lord, for he has gone to hunt in the fields and feed the camels," and the woman said to Abraham, "Turn in, my lord, into the tent, and eat a morsel of bread, for thy soul must be wearied on account of the journey." And Abraham said to her, "I will not stop, for I am in haste to continue my journey, but give me a little water to drink, for I am thirsty," and the woman hastened and ran into the tent, and she brought out water and bread to Abraham, which she placed before him, urging him to eat and drink, and he ate and drank, and his heart was merry, and he blessed his son Ishmael. And he finished his meal, and he blessed the Lord, and he said to Ishmael's wife: "When Ishmael comes home, say these words to him: A very old man from the land of the Philistines came hither, and asked after thee, and thou wast not here, and I brought him out bread and water, and he ate and drank, and his heart was merry. And he spoke these words to me, When Ishmael thy husband comes home, say unto him, The tent-pin which thou hast is very good, do not put it away from the tent." And Abraham finished commanding the woman, and he rode off to his home, to the land of the Philistines, and when Ishmael came to his tent, his wife went forth to meet him with joy and a cheerful heart, and she told him the words of the old man. Ishmael knew that it was his father, and that his wife had honored him, and he praised the Lord. And Ishmael then took his wife and his children and his cattle and all belonging to him, and he journeyed from there, and he went to his father in the land of the Philistines. And Abraham related to Ishmael all that had happened between him and the first wife that Ishmael had taken, according to what she had done. And Ishmael and his children dwelt with Abraham many days in that land, and Abraham dwelt in the land of the Philistines a long time.
