Mar Ukba was a man of extraordinary generosity, but his generosity had one absolute rule: the recipient must never know who gave. Every day, Mar Ukba would slip coins under the door of a poor man's house and disappear before anyone could see him.
The poor man grew curious. Who was his anonymous benefactor? One day, he decided to find out. He waited by his door, watching through a crack, and when he saw a figure approaching with coins, he burst out to see the face of his savior.
Mar Ukba and his wife — for she accompanied him in this daily act of charity — saw the door opening and ran. They could not be caught. To be identified as the donor would humiliate the poor man, who would then feel indebted and shamed. Anonymous charity preserves the recipient's dignity; identified charity destroys it.
They ran until they came to an oven that was still hot from the day's baking. Without hesitation, they climbed inside to hide. Mar Ukba's feet began to burn on the scorching floor. His wife told him: "Place your feet on top of mine." He did — and her feet were unharmed by the heat, while his continued to burn.
Mar Ukba was humbled. "Why is your merit greater than mine?" he asked. She answered: "I am always at home. When a poor person comes to the door, I give food directly — food they can eat immediately. You give money, which they must still go and spend. Immediate relief outweighs financial relief."
The sages derived from this story the supreme importance of anonymous giving and the teaching that direct, practical kindness — a hot meal, a warm garment — carries even greater merit than a generous check. Mar Ukba would rather burn in an oven than let a poor man know his name. That is how seriously the sages took the dignity of those who receive.