Ever wonder why some neighbors get along and others... don't? Our ancestors wrestled with this too, especially when navigating complex relationships with the nations around them. Take the story of Moav, as told in Bamidbar Rabbah 20, a fascinating dive into the Book of Numbers.

It all starts with the line: “Moav was very alarmed by the nation because they were numerous, and Moav was dreaded by the children of Israel” (Numbers 22:3). But what does it really mean when it says "Moav was…alarmed [vayagor]"? The Rabbis, masters of unpacking layers of meaning, dig deep into this seemingly simple word.

One interpretation, as presented in Bamidbar Rabbah, focuses on appearances. When the Israelites approached the Amonites, they presented themselves as peaceful. But to the Moavites? They looked ready for war! This is based on the instructions given in Deuteronomy 2:19 regarding the Amonites: “You will approach opposite the children of Amon; do not besiege them [tetzurem] [and do not provoke [titgar] them].” The text goes on to explain tetzurem means not to cause them any trouble [tzara] and titgar, any kind of provocation [girui].

But regarding Moav, God said something different: “Do not besiege Moav, and do not provoke war with them” (Deuteronomy 2:9). War was off the table, but… "whatever you can seize from them, seize." Quite a distinction, right? So, the Israelites appeared armed, and the Moavites, understandably, gathered within their cities. The text connects vayagor to the idea of gathering, like someone "who gathers [oger] during the summer is a wise son" (Proverbs 10:5).

But there's more. Vayagor can also mean "stranger" [ger]. The Moavites felt like strangers in their own land, fearing the Israelites, whom they saw as permanent residents. They worried they'd be overtaken, turned into outsiders. Remember how the Israelites sojourned in Egypt? "They descended to Egypt to sojourn there, but they seized it and would rent houses to them, as it is stated: 'Each woman will borrow…from her neighbor and from the resident of her house'” (Exodus 3:22). The Moavites feared history would repeat itself.

Then there's the plain old fear factor. The Moavites were afraid because they saw what happened to other nations at the hands of the Israelites. Siḥon had taken land from Moav: “And he battled against the first king of Moav, [and took all his land from his possession]” (Numbers 21:26). And Og had seized land from the Amonites: “As only Og, king of the Bashan [was left…in Raba of the children of Amon]” (Deuteronomy 3:11). The Israelites then took that land from them.

Even though Israel wasn't allowed to conquer Amon or Moav directly, they were allowed to conquer lands previously taken from them by Sihon and Og. The Moavites were in a bind. "Did the Holy One blessed be He not say to them: 'As I will not give you of its land as an inheritance'?" (Deuteronomy 2:9). But their former land was now in Israelite hands! Hence, the fear. They worried Israel would come for the rest.

Finally, “Moav was dreaded [vayakotz]” – they saw themselves as thorns [kotzim] before them. They felt vulnerable, insignificant, even painful in the face of Israel's growing power.

So what do we take away from this ancient snapshot of nations in uneasy proximity? It reminds us that relationships between groups, even neighbors, are rarely simple. They’re shaped by history, by perceived threats, and by the stories we tell ourselves about each other. And sometimes, even when peace is the stated goal, fear can be a powerful motivator. Perhaps understanding these ancient anxieties can help us navigate our own complex world with a little more empathy and wisdom.