Specifically, we're looking at Bereshit Rabbah 100, which delves into the mourning of Jacob.

The verse in Genesis 50:3 tells us, "Forty days were completed for him, as so are the days of embalming completed. Egypt wept for him for seventy days.” Then, just a verse later, Genesis 50:4 states, "The days of his weeping passed, and Joseph spoke to Pharaoh’s household, saying: Please, if I have found favor in your eyes, please, speak in the ears of Pharaoh, saying…"

Notice that phrasing? "The days of his weeping passed." But compare that, the Rabbis point out, to Deuteronomy 34:8, which speaks of Moses: "The days of weeping of the mourning of Moses concluded." What's the difference between "passed" and "concluded"? Is it just semantics?

Not according to the Sages. The explanation offered is surprisingly insightful. With Moses, because he didn't have a multitude of others weeping for him, the scripture uses the word "concluded." But with Jacob, because so many others – including, as the text hints, even the residents of Canaan – joined in mourning him as his body was carried to Canaan for burial, the scripture says "passed."

Think about that for a moment. It suggests that when grief is shared, when it’s a collective experience, it… well, it passes. It becomes part of the shared history, a communal sorrow that, while still felt, doesn’t weigh as heavily on any single individual. But when grief is solitary, when you're bearing the burden alone, it "concludes" only when the individual mourner reaches their own point of closure.

Isn’t that a profound observation about the nature of mourning?

The text then shifts its focus to Joseph. Why, after the mourning period, did Joseph speak to Pharaoh's household instead of directly to Pharaoh himself? The text tells us, "Joseph spoke [to Pharaoh’s household] – to whom did he say it? It was to the nursemaid, to appease the queen, and the queen would appease the king. Why did he himself not enter?"

Rabbi Yehoshua of Sikhnin, citing Rabbi Shmuel, offers a clear reason: "Because a mourner may not enter the king’s palace." It's a matter of decorum, of understanding the appropriate boundaries between personal grief and royal protocol.

So, what are we left with? We have this beautiful, layered understanding of mourning, where the shared nature of grief influences its trajectory, and where even in the midst of powerful emotions, respect for social structures remains paramount. It makes you wonder, doesn't it, about the ways we process grief today, and the importance of community in helping us move forward.