We're in Genesis 34, the story of Dina, Jacob's daughter, and Shechem, the son of Hamor, the prince of the land. Shechem has taken Dina, and now Hamor is trying to negotiate a marriage. Hamor says, "The soul of my son Shechem desires your daughter. Please, give her to him as a wife" (Genesis 34:8).
Now, Reish Lakish, a prominent sage of the Talmud, sees something profound in those words. He points out that the Holy One, blessed be He, also expresses fondness for Israel using similar terms: cleaving, desiring, and wanting.
Think about it. Cleaving: "but you who cleave to the Lord…" (Deuteronomy 4:4). Desiring: "It is not for your multitude that the Lord desired you" (Deuteronomy 7:7). Wanting: "All the nations will praise you, as you will be a wanted land" (Malachi 3:12).
And then, Reish Lakish makes the connection: we can learn these expressions from the story of this "wicked one," Hamor. Cleaving: "his soul cleaved to Dina daughter of Jacob" (Genesis 34:3). Desiring: "The soul of my son Shechem desires your daughter" (Genesis 34:8). Wanting: "because he wanted Jacob’s daughter" (Genesis 34:19). It's almost unsettling, isn't it? This echo of the divine in the words of someone who, let's face it, isn't exactly a role model.
Rabbi Abba bar Elisha takes it even further, adding two more expressions: love and speech. Love: "I have loved you" (Malachi 1:2). Speech: "speak to the heart of Jerusalem" (Isaiah 40:2). And again, we find these echoed in the story of Shechem: love – "he loved the young woman" (Genesis 34:3), and speech – "he spoke tenderly to [al lev] the young woman" (Genesis 34:3). Al lev literally means "to the heart," but here it suggests soothing, calming words.
The text then interprets the phrase "spoke tenderly to the young woman" by explaining that Shechem tried to win her over with promises. He said something along the lines of, "Your father wasted so much money on just one field! I can give you orchards and fields of grain!"
Then Hamor continues, "And intermarry with us; your daughters you will give to us, and you will take our daughters" (Genesis 34:9). Rabbi Elazar makes a sharp observation here: "An Israelite never places his finger into the mouth of an idolater first, unless the idolater first placed his finger into the mouth of the Israelite." It's a proverb, a warning against being the first to compromise one's values. In other words, be careful about assimilation.
The text then highlights the phrase "Intermarry with us" and draws a parallel to the prohibition in Deuteronomy 7:3, "do not intermarry with them." The Rabbis point out the audacity of Hamor's request: "They said: 'Intermarry with us.' They said; they demanded first." It highlights the imbalance of power and the potential for coercion.
Finally, Hamor offers, "Increase greatly the bridal payment [mohar] and gift [umatan], and I will give in accordance with what you shall say to me, and give me the young woman as a wife" (Genesis 34:12). The text clarifies that mohar is the dowry, and matan is an additional gift. It's a reminder that even in ancient times, marriage involved financial negotiations.
So, what are we left with? A complex tapestry. We see echoes of the divine in unexpected places, even in the actions of those we might consider "wicked." We see warnings about assimilation and the importance of safeguarding our values. And we see the human drama of negotiation, desire, and the complexities of relationships.
It makes you wonder, doesn't it? How often do we see reflections of the sacred in the mundane, in the everyday? And how often do we miss them? Perhaps the real challenge is to open our eyes and our hearts to the possibility that even in the darkest corners, a spark of light can still be found.