It's a wild ride, so buckle up!
The Midrash starts with a stark claim: "For Hillel the wicked, his own desires are his god." Whoa. Harsh. It's not talking about the Hillel, the famous sage known for his golden rule. This is a different Hillel, a Hillel consumed by selfishness. The idea here is that a truly wicked person elevates their own wants and needs above everything else, even above God. They've essentially made their desires into an idol.
And get this: the Midrash goes on to say that the wicked only praise themselves when their desires are fulfilled. Sound familiar? – when things go our way, how often do we pause to thank the divine, and how often do we just pat ourselves on the back? The text even brings in Nebuchadnezzar from the Book of Daniel as an example, quoting his declaration (Daniel 2:47), "Truly, your God is God of gods and Lord of kings," but implying it was self-serving, an acknowledgement only because things were going well for him. Furthermore, the Midrash observes that "a wicked person does not commit a sin unless they do it openly." It's like they're flaunting their disregard for anything beyond themselves.
Now, the text takes a really unexpected turn. It talks about blessing, and how a blessing can actually be a curse. Rabbi Eliezer ben Yaakov poses a thought-provoking, almost disturbing question: What if someone steals wheat, grinds it into flour, separates the challah (the portion traditionally given to the priest), and then tries to recite a blessing before eating? Can you bless something that was obtained through wrongdoing?
The answer, according to Rabbi Eliezer ben Yaakov, is a resounding NO. Instead of reciting a blessing, the person should be cursing themselves! It even references Proverbs 24:24, stating "And one who blesses [improperly] is cursing the Lord." Ouch.
But the Midrash doesn't stop there. It offers another interpretation of "one who blesses," suggesting it could mean someone who only blesses God with a "leaning" – as in, with a lack of sincerity or full devotion. It then quotes Psalms 30:10, "What advantage is there in my blood [my leaning]?" The implication here is that a half-hearted blessing, a blessing given without true intention, is ultimately worthless.
And then comes this powerful, almost heartbreaking statement from Israel before God: "There was one house [i.e. one person] from whom You leaned and enemies destroyed him, and they blasphemed Your name because of him, and they still exist while he perished. And the righteous people from whom You leaned, their enemies fell and were destroyed, and they blasphemed Your name because of them, yet they still exist." It’s a complex idea, but essentially, it questions why bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. Why do those who seem close to God sometimes suffer, while the wicked prosper? The Midrash is wrestling with theodicy, the age-old question of divine justice.
The conclusion? "Therefore, 'and one who blesses' means cursing [God], as it says, 'And one who blesses [improperly] is cursing the Lord.'" It all circles back to this idea that insincere or ill-gotten blessings are, in reality, curses.
So what does this all mean for us? It challenges us to examine our own motivations. Are we truly worshipping something beyond ourselves? Are our blessings heartfelt and sincere? Are we living a life of integrity, where our actions align with our words? It's a tough ask, no doubt. But maybe, just maybe, by grappling with these questions, we can move a little closer to a more authentic and meaningful relationship with the divine. Food for thought.