Take, for instance, this fascinating passage from Midrash Tehillim, Psalm 59. It wrestles with a question that's been around since, well, the beginning: What's the deal with marriage? Is it a blessing or a curse?
The text throws us right into the deep end, quoting both Proverbs 18:22, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing," and Ecclesiastes 7:26, "And I find more bitter than death the woman." Quite the contrast, right? It's like the sages knew we'd be grappling with this very tension for millennia.
But the Midrash doesn't leave us hanging. It clarifies: if she's a wicked woman, the trouble never ends. But if she's a good woman? Her goodness is limitless. So, the message is clear: find a wife...and find a good thing! It even argues that before woman was created, Genesis 2:18 tells us "It is not good for man to be alone." And after her creation, Genesis 1:31 says, "And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good." Food for thought, isn't it?
Our sages go even further, claiming that a man without a wife lacks five essential things. Five! What are they? Blessing, because Genesis 1:28 says "And God blessed them," not him. Life, drawn from Ecclesiastes 9:9: "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love." Joy itself, as Proverbs 5:18 urges us to "Rejoice with the wife of your youth." Assistance, echoing Genesis 2:18: "I will make a helpmate for him." And finally, goodness, returning us to Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing."
Of course, the Midrash acknowledges the flip side. A bad wife can, unfortunately, bring ruin. But a good woman? Proverbs 31:10 asks, "A capable wife, who can find? Her value is far beyond pearls." And Proverbs 12:4 adds, "A capable wife is a crown for her husband." It's a powerful image, isn't it?
And it doesn't stop there. The text emphasizes the divine connection to marriage. It points out how God's name is invoked in connection with marriage throughout the Tanakh (the Hebrew Bible). In the Torah (the first five books), Genesis 24:50 says, "The matter emanates from God." In the Nevi'im (the Prophets), Judges 14:4 states, "But his father and mother did not know that it was of the Lord." And in the Ketuvim (the Writings), Proverbs 18:22 again: "And he obtains favor from God."
So, what's the takeaway from all this? Maybe it's that marriage, at its best, is a partnership blessed by the Divine. A source of blessing, life, joy, assistance, and goodness. And while the path isn't always easy, and finding the right partner can feel like searching for a rare pearl, the potential rewards are immeasurable. Perhaps the real question isn't whether to marry, but how to cultivate a marriage that reflects the goodness and favor the sages spoke of.