“And your desire shall be for your husband” – there are four desires. The desire of a woman is only for her husband, as it is stated: “And your desire shall be for your husband.” The desire of the evil inclination is only for Cain and his counterparts, as it is stated: “[Sin crouches at the entrance,] and its desire is for you” (Genesis 4:7). The desire of rain is only for the ground, as it is stated: “You remember the earth and fulfill its desire…[the streams of God are full of water]” (Psalms 65:10).
The desire of the Holy One blessed be He is only for Israel, as it is stated: “His desire is for me” (Song of Songs 7:11). Another matter, “his desire [teshukato] [is for me]” – we are exhausted [tashim], but even though we are exhausted, we hope [mekavim] for the salvation of the Holy One blessed be He, and we declare the unity of His name each day. Another matter, “and your desire shall be for your husband” – when a woman is sitting on the birthing stool, she says: ‘I will never be intimate with my husband anymore.’
But the Holy One blessed be He says to her: ‘You will return to your desire, you will return to desiring your husband.’ Rabbi Berekhya and Rabbi Simon said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: Because her30Referring to the woman who has just given birth. heart fluttered, that is why she brings a fluttering offering – two turtledoves or two young pigeons.31Leviticus 12:8. “And he shall rule over you” – Rabbi Yosei HaGelili said: One might think that this means dominion in every sense.
Therefore the verse states: “[When a man has taken a new wife…he shall cheer his wife whom he has taken. He shall not yaḥavol the upper and lower millstones” (Deuteronomy 24:5–6).32Yaḥavol is usually understood here as taking an object for collateral for a loan. The Midrash interprets the word in its more usual sense, to injure, and it interprets the millstones as a metaphor for one’s wife (see Ibn Era on Deuteronomy 24:6).
Thus the verse forbids physical aggressiveness against one’s wife. There was an incident involving a certain woman from the Tevaryanus family who was married to a robber, and her husband mistreated her. The Sages heard, and they went to her house to rebuke him. When she came before the Sages, she took out before them a golden candlestick with an earthenware lamp upon it,33This symbolized the coarse man upon the gentle woman. affirming what is stated: “And your desire shall be for your husband.”34No matter what, she desires him.