“Ḥamor spoke with them, saying: The soul of my son Shekhem desires your daughter. Please, give her to him as a wife” (Genesis 34:8). “Ḥamor spoke with them, saying” – Reish Lakish said: With three expressions of fondness, the Holy One blessed be He expressed His fondness for Israel: With cleaving, with desiring, and with wanting. With cleaving – “but you who cleave [to the Lord…]” (Deuteronomy 4:4).
With desiring – “It is not for your multitude that the Lord desired [you]” (Deuteronomy 7:7). With wanting – “All the nations will praise you, [as you will be a wanted land]” (Malachi 3:12). And we learn it from the portion of this wicked one: With cleaving – “his soul cleaved [to Dina daughter of Jacob]” (Genesis 34:3). With desiring – “The soul of my son Shekhem desires your daughter” (Genesis 34:8).
With wanting – “because he wanted Jacob’s daughter” (Genesis 34:19). Rabbi Abba bar Elisha adds two more: With love and with speech. With love – “I have loved you” (Malachi 1:2). With speech – “speak to the heart of Jerusalem” (Isaiah 40:2).
And we learn it from the portion of this wicked one: With love – “he loved the young woman” (Genesis 34:3), with speech – “he spoke tenderly to [al lev] the young woman” (Genesis 34:3). Do you have a person who speaks to the heart [al lev]? It is, rather, matters that calm the heart. He said to her: ‘Your father, for one field, see how much he wasted and how much money he expended.
I, who have the means to give you several orchards and several fields of grain, all the more so.’ “And intermarry with us; your daughters you will give to us, and you will take our daughters” (Genesis 34:9). “Intermarry with us” – Rabbi Elazar said: An Israelite never places his finger into the mouth of an idolater first, unless the idolater first placed his finger into the mouth of the Israelite.
“Intermarry with us” – “do not intermarry with them” (Deuteronomy 7:3). They said: “Intermarry with us.” They said; they demanded first.13The Malbim (on Genesis 34:9) explains that normally in cases of intermarriage the non-Jew is the one who initiated the marriage. “Increase greatly the bridal payment and gift, and I will give in accordance with what you shall say to me, and give me the young woman as a wife” (Genesis 34:12).
“Increase bridal payment [mohar] and gift [umatan].” Mohar – dowry; matan – addition.14An addition to the standard dowry.