The Jewish tradition has some fascinating stories about that, and one of the most intriguing is the tale of Asenath and Joseph. It's a story about beauty, prejudice, divine intervention, and ultimately, transformation.
The story, as retold by Ginzberg in Legends of the Jews, paints Asenath as a woman of extraordinary beauty. Think Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel rolled into one! She's the daughter of Potiphar, a prominent Egyptian nobleman, and lives a life of privilege, secluded in her own palace with seven handmaidens. Suitors, including Pharaoh's own son, clamor for her hand, but she rejects them all. She wants nothing to do with marriage.
Then, Joseph arrives. Remember Joseph, the dreamer who was sold into slavery by his brothers? He's now a powerful figure in Egypt, thanks to his ability to interpret Pharaoh's dreams. Joseph announces he's coming to visit Potiphar, and Potiphar, eager to cement the connection, proposes a marriage between Joseph and Asenath.
Asenath is not impressed.
"Why," she asks, according to Ginzberg, "should I marry a vagabond, a slave, a son of a Canaanite herdsman?" She's bought into the rumors and the prejudices. She sees him as an outsider, someone beneath her. She even brings up the accusation that he tried to violate his master's wife! "I'd rather marry Pharaoh's son!" she declares.
But then she sees him.
Peeking from her window, Asenath is struck by Joseph's "divine beauty" and "indescribably noble carriage." It's a complete turnaround! Suddenly, she's filled with regret. "Poor, foolish me," she laments. "I permitted myself to be misled." She realizes the rumors were wrong. She even wonders if he's "a son of God," because such beauty, she believes, couldn't possibly exist in a mere mortal. She begs God for forgiveness, promising to marry Joseph if given the chance.
Joseph, however, is initially wary. He notices Asenath watching him and orders her away. He's committed to staying away from the Gentile women of Egypt, a principle instilled in him by his father, Jacob. He knows his beauty attracts unwanted attention, and he wants to avoid temptation.
Potiphar explains that Asenath is a virgin who has never looked upon another man. He asks Joseph to allow her to pay her respects. Joseph relents, and Asenath greets him with "Peace be with thee, thou blessed of God Most High." Joseph returns the greeting, but when Asenath tries to kiss him, he refuses.
"It is not meet," he says, "that a God-fearing man…should kiss a woman of a strange people, who blesses dead and unprofitable idols." Ouch! He's drawing a clear line, emphasizing the difference between his beliefs and hers. He sees her as someone who worships false gods and engages in practices that are spiritually harmful.
Asenath is heartbroken. But Joseph, seeing her distress, softens. He blesses her, asking God to "pour out His spirit over her and make her to become a member of His people and His inheritance, and grant her a portion in the life eternal."
This is where the story takes a truly fascinating turn. According to later traditions, Asenath does indeed convert to Judaism and becomes Joseph's wife. The Book of Asenath, an apocryphal text, expands on this, describing her repentance and conversion in detail, even featuring an angel who instructs her. She becomes a righteous woman, and their descendants are said to include important figures in Jewish history.
What can we take away from the story of Asenath? It's a reminder that first impressions can be deceiving, and that prejudice can blind us to the truth. It also speaks to the power of transformation and the possibility of finding common ground, even between people from very different backgrounds. It’s a beautiful tale of how love, combined with faith, can bridge divides and lead to unexpected blessings. Asenath's journey reminds us that even those who seem furthest away can be brought closer, and that the most unlikely unions can sometimes be the most blessed.
God gives every man the wife he deserves, and so Asenath was worthy of being the helpmeet of Joseph the pious. Her father was Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's magnates, ranking among the most distinguished of them by reason of wisdom, wealth, and station. His daughter was slender like unto Sarah, beautiful like Rebekah, and radiant in appearance like Rachel. Noblemen and princes sued for her hand when she was eighteen years of age. Even Pharaoh's appointed successor, his first-born son, demanded her in marriage, but his father refused to comply with his wish, because he did not consider her a proper wife for one destined to sit upon the throne. The daughter of the Moabite king, he insisted, was a more suitable match for him. But Asenath rejected every proposal of marriage, and avoided all intercourse with men. With seven maidens born the same day as herself, she lived in retirement in a magnificent palace adjoining that of her parents. It happened in the first of the seven years of plenty that Joseph planned to visit the place in which Potiphar resided, and he sent word to him that he would put up with him, at his house. Potiphar was enchanted with the honor in prospect for him, and also with the opportunity it would afford him of bringing about a marriage between Asenath and Joseph. But when he disclosed his plan to his daughter, she rejected it with indignation. "Why shouldst thou desire to see me united with a vagabond, a slave," she cried out, "one that does not even belong to our nation, but is the son of a Canaanitish herdsman, a fellow that attempted to violate the honor of his mistress, and in punishment for this misdemeanor was thrown into prison, to be liberated thence by Pharaoh for interpreting his dream? Nay, father, never will I become his wife. I am willing to marry the son of Pharaoh, the future ruler and king of Egypt." Potiphar promised his daughter not to speak of the plan again. At that moment Joseph's arrival was announced, and Asenath left the presence of her parents and withdrew to her own apartments. Standing by the window, she saw Joseph pass, and she was so transported with his divine beauty and his indescribably noble carriage that she burst into tears, and said: "Poor, foolish me, what shall I do? I permitted myself to be misled by friends, who told me that Joseph was the son of a Canaanitish shepherd. Now I behold the splendor that emanates from him like unto the splendor of the sun, illuminating our house with his rays. In my audacity and folly I had looked down upon him, and had spoken absurd nonsense against him. I knew not that he was a son of God, as he must be, for among men such beauty as his does not exist. I pray Thee, O God of Joseph, grant me pardon! It was my ignorance that made me speak like a fool. If my father will give me in marriage to Joseph, I will be his forever." Meantime Joseph had taken his seat at Potiphar's table, and he observed a maiden looking at him from one of the palace windows. He commanded that she be ordered away, for he never permitted women to gaze at him or come near to him. His supernatural beauty always fascinated the noble Egyptian ladies, and they were untiring in the efforts they made to approach him. But their attempts were vain. He cherished the words of his father Jacob, who had admonished his son to keep aloof from the women of the Gentiles. Potiphar explained to Joseph that the maiden at the window was his virgin daughter, who never permitted men to abide near her; he was the first man she had ever looked upon. The father continued and made the request of Joseph, to allow his daughter to pay him her respects. Joseph granted the favor he desired, and Asenath appeared and greeted him with the words, "Peace be with thee, thou blessed of God Most High," whereunto Joseph returned the salutation, "Be thou blessed of the Lord, from whom flow all blessings." Asenath desired also to kiss Joseph, but he warded off the intimate greeting with the words: "It is not meet that a God-fearing man, who blesses the living God, and eats the blessed bread of life, who drinks of the blessed cup of immortality and incorruptibility, and anoints himself with the fragrant oil of holiness, should kiss a woman of a strange people, who blesses dead and unprofitable idols, and eats the putrid bread of idolatry, which chokes the soul of man, who drinks the libations of deceit, and anoints herself with the oil of destruction." These words uttered by Joseph touched Asenath unto tears. Out of compassion with her, he bestowed his blessing upon her, calling upon God to pour out His spirit over her and make her to become a member of His people and His inheritance, and grant her a portion in the life eternal.
