The ancient rabbis certainly did, and they found wisdom in the story of Judah and Joseph in the book of Genesis to guide us.
Our story begins with a tense encounter. Judah, pleading for his brother Benjamin's release, approaches the powerful Egyptian official, who is secretly his own brother, Joseph. Judah says, "My lord, may your servant please speak a word in my lord's ears, and do not become incensed with your servant, as you are like Pharaoh" (Genesis 44:18). It’s a bold statement, laden with desperation.
Bereshit Rabbah 93, a collection of rabbinic interpretations on the Book of Genesis, dives deep into this moment, connecting it with a seemingly unrelated passage from Proverbs: "My son, if you became a guarantor for your friend… you have been snared by the sayings of your mouth…Do this [and be delivered]…" (Proverbs 6:1–3). What's the connection?
Rabbi Ḥanina offers a profound insight. He advises us to flee from three things and cling to three others. The things to avoid? Deposits, refusals, and serving as a guarantor. Now, "deposits" here refers to taking on the responsibility of safekeeping someone else's object. "Refusals" alludes to a delicate situation where a young, orphaned girl is encouraged to reject a betrothal arranged for her.
But it's the third warning that truly resonates with Judah's predicament: avoid being a guarantor. Then, Rabbi Ḥanina contrasts this with the three things to embrace: ḥalitza (a ritual that releases a widow from levirate marriage), nullification of vows, and introducing peace. Each of these promotes freedom and reconciliation.
Why the aversion to being a guarantor? According to Rabbi Berekhya, quoting Rabbi Shimon bar Abba, a deposit, or pikadon, should be seen as puk don – "take this out!" Don't let it into your house in the first place! It's a burden, a potential source of trouble.
The midrash, a form of ancient Jewish biblical interpretation, connects this directly to Judah. Remember when Judah guaranteed Benjamin's safe return to their father, Jacob? He said, "I will guarantee him" (Genesis 43:9). The verse in Proverbs about shaking hands when becoming a guarantor, "If you have shaken your hands for a stranger" (Proverbs 6:1), is linked to Judah's acceptance of responsibility: "From my hand you can demand him" (Genesis 43:9).
Judah is trapped! “You have been snared by the sayings of your mouth” – because he said, "if I do not bring him to you" (Genesis 43:9). So, what’s the escape? "Do this, then, my son, and be delivered" (Proverbs 6:3) – "go and cleave to the dust of his feet and accept his kingdom and lordship" – hence, "Judah approached him."
The Etz Yosef commentary suggests that Judah approached Joseph to literally kiss his feet and accept his kingship, a complete act of submission. By acknowledging Joseph's authority, Judah might find a way out of the promise that now binds him.
This midrash offers us a powerful message. Sometimes, the only way to escape a self-imposed trap is through humility and surrender. To acknowledge the power of another, to release our own ego, can be the key to unlocking our freedom. It's a complex lesson, and one that resonates deeply with the human experience of promises made, and the weight of responsibility. So, the next time you find yourself trapped by a commitment, remember Judah, and ask yourself: is there a way to find freedom through submission?