The Kiss at Sinai That Israel Refuses to Wash Off
An angel carried the commandment through the camp and stopped at every person to ask whether they would take it. Whoever said yes was kissed on the mouth.
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Pharaoh Brought Everything He Had
Pharaoh came out of Egypt on horseback and God came out to meet him the same way.
Pharaoh mounted a stallion, and a stallion appeared under God. Pharaoh remembered that a stallion in a battle will turn and kill the man on its back, and he got down and took a mare instead, and a mare appeared. He rode a red horse and met a red horse. A white one, a white one. A black one, a black one.
He put on armor and a helmet, and righteousness came down over the other rider like armor. He brought up jars of naphtha to burn the water's edge, and hail and coals of fire came through the clouds. He wheeled out the catapults, and thunder answered the stones. He sent in swords and spears, and lightning came in over the swords.
When there was nothing left in the Egyptian baggage train, a voice went across the water at him. "Wicked one. Do you have wind? Do you have a cherub? Do you have wings?"
The sea closed. Israel stood on the far shore with the water still running off them and went out into the wilderness, and seven weeks later they were standing at the foot of a mountain.
Nobody at the Mountain Was Calm
They did not stand there the way people stand at a festival. They stood shaking. Fear went through the whole camp and left it quiet, and the quiet was not peace, it was six hundred thousand people waiting to find out what was going to happen to them.
Then the angels came down the mountain, and there was one for every man in the camp, and every one of them was carrying a crown.
Some say twice that many came, one to set the crown on a man's head and a second one to tie a belt around him where he stood, so that each person was crowned and armed at the same moment, in the middle of a crowd, without moving his feet.
Do You Accept This Upon Yourself
An angel took the first commandment out from in front of God and carried it into the crowd. He went to one man. Not to a tribe, not to a family. One man.
"Do you accept this upon yourself? There are such and such laws in it. There are such and such punishments in it. There are such and such decrees in it, and so many commandments, and so many inferences drawn from them, and there are such and such rewards in it."
The man said, "Yes."
"And do you accept the divinity of the Holy One, blessed be He?"
"Yes. Yes."
The angel leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. Then he moved on to the next man and started again.
The Word Came Itself
Others tell it without the angel.
In their telling the spoken word came off the mountain on its own and walked the camp, and it did its own asking. "Do you accept me upon yourself? There are such and such commandments in me. There are such and such laws in me, and such and such punishments, and such and such decrees, and such and such rewards."
The man said, "Yes. Yes."
The word kissed him on his mouth. Then it stood up in front of him in the shape of a scholar and began teaching him Torah, right there, before he had time to sit down.
Six hundred thousand separate conversations, and every one of them ended on a mouth.
What the Nations Offered Afterward
Centuries of it followed. Swords, fires, decrees, one empire and then the next one, and every so often the same offer arrived.
"How long are you going to go on dying for this God of yours? How long are you going to be killed for his sake? How long will you keep doing kindness on his behalf while he pays you back in hard treatment? Come over to us. We will make you dukes. We will make you governors. We will make you generals. The whole world will turn around and look at you."
Israel answered with a question of its own. Did anyone ever hear that Abraham served idols, or Isaac, or Jacob, that their children should start now?
Then it made an offer back. What can you actually do for us? Can you dance for us the way they danced for Jacob the night he came out of Laban's house, when six hundred thousand angels danced in front of him, and some say twice that? Can you dance for us the way it was danced at the sea, with the angel of God moving along the column? Can you do what was done for Elisha, when his servant went outside at dawn and found the whole hill filled up with horses and chariots of fire?
Nobody made an offer after that.
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