It’s a human experience, unfortunately, one that even touched the lives of the biblical figures we often hold up as paragons of virtue. Let’s turn to Gad, one of the twelve sons of Jacob, whose story in Legends of the Jews (Ginzberg) reveals a painful struggle with hatred and its consequences.
Gad, as the story goes, lived a long and full life, reaching 125 years. Before his death, he gathered his sons and recounted his life, particularly focusing on his complicated relationship with his brother, Joseph. Gad paints a picture of himself as a strong, capable shepherd, protecting his flock from wild animals. He recounts how Joseph, after tending the flocks with them for a time, reported back to their father Jacob that the sons of Zilpah and Bilhah (Gad included) were slaughtering the best animals without consulting Reuben and Judah.
And here’s where the trouble begins. Joseph, in his role, also reported on Gad's actions, mentioning how Gad once rescued a lamb from a bear, killed the bear, and then slaughtered the lamb because it was too injured. This, it seems, was the last straw. As Gad confesses to his sons, “I was wroth with Joseph for his talebearing, until he was sold into Egypt. I would neither look upon him nor hear aught about him…”
Gad's resentment festered. He admits, “Now I confess my sin, that ofttimes I longed to kill him, for I hated him from the bottom of my heart, and on account of his dreams I hated him still more, and I desired to destroy him from off the land of the living.” Can you feel the intensity of that hatred? It’s a stark reminder that even within the family of Jacob, jealousy and animosity could run deep.
But here’s the twist. Gad doesn’t just confess his hatred; he reflects on it. He recognizes the destructive nature of animosity, describing it as “the constant companion of deception.” It magnifies small issues, distorts truth, and leads to anger, war, and violence. It’s a powerful indictment of the corrosive effects of holding onto anger. Gad ultimately acknowledges that Judah’s act of selling Joseph into slavery saved him from committing a terrible sin.
So, what changed? How did Gad move from murderous hatred to a place of reflection and repentance? He tells his sons that his teshuvah (repentance) came about through suffering. God afflicted him with a liver ailment, mirroring the lack of mercy his liver – his inner being – had shown to Joseph. He suffered for eleven months, the same length of time as his enmity towards his brother. It was only through the prayers of his father, Jacob, that he found relief.
Gad's story becomes a lesson for his sons, and for us. He urges them to uproot hatred from their hearts and cultivate love for one another. He advises them not to envy those who are more fortunate and to trust in God’s ultimate judgment. Gad even instructs them to honor Judah and Levi, from whose descendants a savior will arise for Israel. He even foresaw a time when his own descendants would stray from God, succumbing to wickedness. It’s a sobering prophecy, highlighting the constant struggle between good and evil.
According to Ginzberg's retelling, Gad's final words are a call to obedience: "My children, hearken unto your father, and bury me with my fathers." After his death, his sons honored his request, carrying his remains to Hebron.
What can we take away from Gad's story? Perhaps it’s a reminder that even those who seem strong and righteous can struggle with powerful, negative emotions. Perhaps it’s a testament to the transformative power of repentance and the importance of choosing love over hatred. Or perhaps it’s simply a cautionary tale about the destructive nature of grudges and the importance of forgiveness. Whatever your interpretation, Gad's journey from hatred to repentance offers a valuable lesson for us all.
In the hundred and twenty-fifth year of his life Gad assembled his sons, and he spake to them: "I am the ninth son of Jacob, and I was a valiant shepherd of the flocks. I guarded the herds, and when a lion or any other wild beast approached, I pursued it, gripped it by the foot, flung it a stone's throw from me, and killed it thus. Once, for a space of thirty days, Joseph tended the flocks with us, and when he returned to our father, he told him that the sons of Zilpah and Bilhah slaughtered the best of the herds, and used the flesh without the knowledge of Reuben and Judah. He had seen me snatch a lamb out of the jaws of a bear, kill the bear, and slaughter the lamb, for it was too badly injured to live. I was wroth with Joseph for his talebearing, until he was sold into Egypt. I would neither look upon him nor hear aught about him, for to our very faces he, blamed us, because we had eaten the lamb without seeking the permission of Judah first. And whatever Joseph told our father, he believed. "Now I confess my sin, that ofttimes I longed to kill him, for I hated him from the bottom of my heart, and on account of his dreams I hated him still more, and I desired to destroy him from off the land of the living. But Judah sold him by stealth to the Ishmaelites. Thus the God of our fathers saved him out of our hands, and He did not permit us to commit an abominable outrage in Israel. "Hear now, my children, the words of truth, that ye may practice justice and the whole law of the Most High, and permit yourselves not to be tempted by the spirit of hatred. Evil is hatred, for it is the constant companion of deception, it always contradicts the truth. A little thing it magnifies into a great thing, light it takes for darkness, the sweet it calls bitter, and it teaches slander, enkindles anger, brings on war and violence, and fills the heart with devilish poison. I tell you my own experience, my children, that ye may drive hatred out of your hearts, and cleave to the love of the Lord. Righteousness banishes hatred, and humility kills it, for he that fears to give umbrage to the Lord, desires not to do wrong even in his thoughts. This is what I recognized at the last, after I had done penance on account of Joseph, for true atonement, pleasing to God, enlightens the eyes, illumines the soul with knowledge, and creates a counsel of salvation. My penance came in consequence of a sickness of the liver that God inflicted upon me. Without the prayers of my father Jacob, my spirit would have departed from me, for through the organ wherewith man transgresses, he is punished. As my liver had felt no mercy for Joseph, unmerciful suffering was caused unto me by my liver. My judgment lasted eleven months, as long as my enmity toward Joseph. "And now, my children, each of you shall love his brother, and ye shall uproot hatred from your hearts by loving one another in word and deed and the thoughts of the soul. For I spake peaceably with Joseph in the presence of our father, but when I went out from before him, the spirit of hatred darkened my understanding, and stirred up my soul to murder him. If you see one that hath more good fortune than you, do not grieve, but pray for him, that his happiness may be perfect, and if one of the wicked even should grow rich in substance, like Esau, my father's brother, do not envy him. Wait for the end of the Lord. "This also tell unto your children, that they shall honor Judah and Levi, for from them the Lord will cause a savior to arise unto Israel. For I know that in the end your children will fall off from God, and they will take part in all wickedness, malice, and corruptness, before the Lord." After Gad had rested a little while, he spake again, "My children, hearken unto your father, and bury me with my fathers." Then he drew up his feet, and slept in peace. After five years, his sons carried his remains to Hebron unto his fathers.
