This week, we're diving into a fascinating passage from Bamidbar Rabbah 19 that touches on exactly that feeling, exploring a moment of high diplomacy – or rather, a diplomatic brick wall – between Moses and the King of Edom.
The scene is set in (Numbers 20:14). The Israelites, after decades of wandering, are trying to pass through Edom. Moses sends messengers, saying, "So said your brother Israel: You know all the travail that we have encountered." Sounds simple enough. But within that simple request lies a world of complex relationships and unspoken resentments.
The Midrash (rabbinic interpretive commentary) draws a connection to (Psalms 15:3): "He who does not gossip with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor tolerates disgrace for his relative." : Moses, despite the Israelites’ provocations at the waters of Meriva (Numbers 20:13, (Psalms 106:3)2) where he "suffered on their account," doesn't abandon them. He still advocates for them, sending messengers to Edom. The Midrash beautifully interprets the end of the verse as "he does not consider himself to be disgraced on account of his relative," instead continuing to work on their behalf. It's a powerful testament to loyalty, even when things get tough.
Moses' message to Edom is carefully crafted. “Our ancestors descended to Egypt, and we lived in Egypt many years, and the Egyptians mistreated us and our ancestors" (Numbers 20:15). He’s reminding Edom of their shared history, their shared ancestry. As the text notes, he is saying to Edom: ‘You know that when the Holy One blessed be He said: “Know, that your descendants will be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and they will be enslaved to them, and they will oppress them, four hundred years” (Genesis 15:13), we were enslaved, but you are a free man.’
The Midrash uses a clever analogy here. Imagine two brothers whose grandfather had a debt. One brother pays it off. Later, he asks to borrow something from the other. Wouldn't he expect a little goodwill? Moses is essentially saying, "We paid the price of oppression. Can’t you at least let us pass through your land?"
But there's more to it than just a simple request. Moses is acutely aware of how the Israelites might be perceived. He anticipates Edom's potential concerns. "Please, let us pass through your land; we will not pass through a field or through a vineyard, and we will not drink well water; we will go on the king’s way; we will not turn right or left until we pass your border” (Numbers 20:17). Notice it doesn't say "water of pits," which is plural. The Midrash teaches us about derekh eretz – etiquette. When visiting a foreign land, even if you have your own provisions, you should buy from the local merchants to support their economy.
Moses goes even further, explaining, "The well accompanies us and we eat manna; do not say that we are an imposition upon you. You will be earning income for yourself.” He's reassuring Edom that they won't be a burden. In fact, they'll even bring economic benefit! And as God later instructs in (Deuteronomy 2:6), "You shall purchase food from them with silver." Moses is telling them to loosen their purse strings. As the text says, "...so they will not say: They were slaves, they are poor. Show them your wealth, and they will know that you did not lose because of the enslavement.”
Despite all these assurances, Edom refuses. "Edom said to him: You shall not pass through me, lest I come out toward you with the sword" (Numbers 20:18). So much for brotherly love. As the Midrash connects it to (Psalms 120:7), "I am peace; but when I speak, they are for war."
Why the refusal? The text suggests that it wasn't entirely Edom's decision. God Himself didn't want the Israelites passing through. As (Deuteronomy 2:5) states, "Do not provoke them, for I will not give you from their land." And (Numbers 20:21) confirms, "Edom refused to allow Israel." The Israelites then appeal to Moab, with a similar result.
The passage even draws upon (Judges 11:17) to highlight the consistency of Edom and Moab's refusal, reinforcing the idea of a divine orchestration. Even Yiftah, of seemingly "insignificant stature," reaffirms this historical reality. Moses, in (Deuteronomy 2:29), alludes to the precedent set by "the children of Esau, who live in Seir, [and the Moavites, who live in Ar,]" further solidifying the pattern of denial.
So, what are we left with? A complex tapestry of diplomacy, resentment, and divine will. It's a reminder that even with the best intentions, sometimes, you can't change someone's mind. Sometimes, you're up against something bigger than just a simple disagreement. And perhaps, most importantly, it underscores the enduring power of kinship and the responsibility we have to advocate for our own, even when they've wronged us. What does it mean to be a good relative, a good member of a community, even when it's difficult? That's the question this passage leaves us to ponder.
“Moses sent messengers from Kadesh to the king of Edom: So said your brother Israel: You know all the travail that we have encountered” (Numbers 20:14). “Moses sent messengers…So said your brother Israel” – this is what the verse said: “He who does not gossip with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor tolerates disgrace for his relative” (Psalms 15:3). The way of the world is that a person who engages in commerce with another and he angered him, he withdraws from him and does not wish to see him. Moses, even though he was punished by means of Israel, as it is stated: “They provoked at the waters of Meriva, and Moses suffered [on their account]” (Psalms 106:32), he did not remove their burden from upon him,52The midrash interprets the end of the verse as, “he does not consider himself to be disgraced on account of his relative,“ rather, he continues to work on behalf of his relative. but rather, he “sent messengers.” “Our ancestors descended to Egypt, and we lived in Egypt many years, and the Egyptians mistreated us and our ancestors” (Numbers 20:15) “You know all the travail that we have encountered” (Numbers 20:14) – he said to him: ‘You know that when the Holy One blessed be He said: “Know, that your descendants will be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and they will be enslaved to them, and they will oppress them, four hundred years” (Genesis 15:13), we were enslaved, but you are a free man.’ “Our ancestors descended” – it was due to that oppression. This is analogous to two brothers, where a promissory note was issued against their grandfather and one of them paid it off. Sometime later, one began asking to borrow an item from his brother. He said to him: ‘You know that that debt was on both of us, but it is I who repaid it. Do not reject me regarding the item that I am asking to borrow.’ “Our ancestors descended to Egypt” – what is the nature of the ancestors here, as it is stated: “And the Egyptians mistreated us and our ancestors”? It is because anytime that Israel is in distress, they too, are in distress. “Please, let us pass through your land; we will not pass through a field or through a vineyard, and we will not drink well water; we will go on the king’s way; we will not turn right or left until we pass your border” (Numbers 20:17). “Please, let us pass through your land…[we will not drink] well water” – it should have said “water of pits.”53Well is singular, but pits is plural. The Torah teaches you etiquette, that one who goes to a land that is not his and has [enough for] his needs in his possession, he should not eat from what is in his possession, but rather, his shall be placed aside and he should purchase from the storekeeper in order to benefit him. So, Moses said to him: ‘The well accompanies us and we eat manna; do not say that we are an imposition upon you. You will be earning income for yourself’; so, the Holy One blessed be He said to Moses: “You shall purchase food from them with silver” (Deuteronomy 2:6). Moses said to them: ‘Loosen your purse strings, so they will not say: They were slaves, they are poor. Show them your wealth, and they will know that you did not lose because of the enslavement. “Afterward they will emerge with great wealth” (Genesis 15:14) – and they will know that you are lacking nothing, and it is not from your own that you are giving, as it is stated: “For the Lord your God blessed you…these forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing”’ (Deuteronomy 2:7). “We will go on the king’s way” – as we will muzzle our animals. “We will not turn right or left” – this is the most difficult of all, as they said to him: In all of our surroundings we have permission to kill and pillage, but within your borders, “we will not turn right or left.” “Edom said to him: You shall not pass through me, lest I come out toward you with the sword” (Numbers 20:18). “Edom said to him: You shall not pass through me” – this is what the verse said: “I am peace; but when I speak, they are for war” (Psalms 120:7). From where is it derived that this is what the Holy One blessed be He said to him, that: ‘They will not allow you to pass, and it is not all from them, because it is I who wants it,’ as it is stated: “Do not provoke them, for I will not give you from their land” (Deuteronomy 2:5), and it is written: “Edom refused to allow Israel” (Numbers 20:21). Then they sent to the king of Moav, and he was unwilling. Although it is not explicit here, it is explicit in Judges, teaching that it is all in the Divine Spirit, as there was no one among all of them of insignificant stature as Yiftaḥ,54Everything written in the Bible was written with the Divine Spirit, and since Yiftaḥ’s statement is quoted it is certainly a correct description of what had occurred even though he was of insignificant stature. and he stated it explicitly, as it is stated: “Israel sent messengers to the king of Edom, saying: Please let me pass through your land; but the king of Edom would not heed. They also sent to the king of Moav, but he was unwilling” (Judges 11:17). Moses also intimated: “Like the children of Esau, who live in Seir, [and the Moavites, who live in Ar,] did for me” (Deuteronomy 2:29).
