We get a glimpse into that, and a whole lot more about marriage, divorce, and forbidden relationships in this fascinating passage from Bereshit Rabbah 18.
It all starts with the famous verse from (Genesis 2:24): “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” But this isn't just a sweet sentiment. The rabbis of the Midrash (rabbinic interpretive commentary), in Bereshit Rabbah, dive deep, extracting laws and ethical considerations that ripple outwards, even touching on the laws applicable to B'nei Noah, the Children of Noah – non-Jews.
One of the first questions that arises is about a convert who was married to his sister before converting. Rabbi Meir says he must divorce her. But the Sages disagree, drawing a distinction: if she's his maternal sister, yes, divorce is required. But a paternal sister? He can stay married because, according to the Sages, non-Jews don't have legally recognized paternity! That’s quite a statement.
This leads to a debate, naturally. The Sages bring up Abraham and Sarah: “And also, indeed, she is my sister, the daughter of my father, [but not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife]” (Genesis 20:12). The implication? Maybe it's okay for non-Jews to marry paternal sisters. Rabbi Meir, however, isn't convinced. He counters with our original verse, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother,” arguing that it implies a general prohibition against marrying relatives.
Rabbi Yochanan tries to smooth things over, suggesting the verse simply means one can't marry an aunt, whether paternal or maternal. But the discussion keeps going. Rabbi Abahu throws another curveball: “Amram took Yokheved his aunt [as his wife]” (Exodus 6:20). Yokheved was Amram’s father’s sister! Was that allowed?
Rabbi Shimon son of Rabbi Abahu then asks a pointed question: are we saying that before the Torah was given, the Israelites weren't even following the basic Noahide laws? It's a pretty astonishing thought!
The conversation then shifts to Noahide law more broadly. Rabbi Abahu, quoting Rabbi Yochanan, states that non-Jews are liable for adultery with a married woman, but not with a betrothed woman. Betrothal, in this context, isn't considered a full marital bond for non-Jews.
Rabbi Yona, in the name of Rabbi Shmuel, adds another layer of complexity. Imagine a promiscuous woman in the marketplace. Two men sleep with her. Who's committed adultery? According to this, the second man is liable, because she's now considered "a woman who has had relations with a man” (Genesis 20:3). The first man gets off scot-free. But this raises a huge question: does a single act of intercourse, without any intent of marriage, create a marital bond for non-Jews? Apparently, it does!
What about divorce for non-Jews? Rabbi Yehuda ben Rabbi Simon and Rabbi Hanin, again in the name of Rabbi Yochanan, suggest two possibilities: either they can’t divorce at all, or they both have to agree. Rabbi Yochanan later revises this, saying the woman can divorce her husband, but she has to pay him double the marriage contract!
Rabbi Hiyya offers a fascinating case: an idolater divorces his wife, she marries another man, and then both of them convert to Judaism. Can the first husband remarry her? The answer is yes. The prohibition against remarrying a divorced woman who's been with another man only applies to divorces recognized by Jewish law.
The Midrash then takes a somber turn, quoting Malachi: “For I hate divorce, said the Lord, the God of Israel” (Malachi 2:16). Rabbi Acha points out that in this verse, God is specifically called “God of Israel,” as if to say that His association with divorce is particularly connected to the Jewish people. Rabbi Hagai connects this to the Israelites returning from Babylonian exile, abandoning their wives for foreign women, and the pain and suffering this caused.
Finally, the passage returns to the fundamental prohibition against illicit sexual relations for non-Jews. How do we know it's forbidden for them? From the verse, “And he shall cleave to his wife” – implying that he shouldn't cleave to anyone else's wife, or to a male, or to an animal. Rabbi Shmuel, Rabbi Abahu, and Rabbi Elazar, in the name of Rabbi Hanina, even say that a non-Jew who engages in unnatural intercourse with his wife is liable for the death penalty.
It's a lot to take in, isn't it? What begins as a simple verse about marriage unfolds into a complex web of laws, ethics, and social commentary. It forces us to consider the very nature of marriage, divorce, and the boundaries of permissible relationships, not just for Jews, but for all of humanity. It makes you wonder: how much of our understanding of these things is shaped by our own traditions, and how much is truly universal? And what responsibilities do we have to each other, regardless of our backgrounds? That, perhaps, is the question that this ancient text leaves us pondering.
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and he shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). “Therefore, a man shall leave” – it is taught: A proselyte who converted while married to his sister, whether [the relationship is] paternal or maternal, he must divorce her; this is the statement of Rabbi Meir. The Sages say: If she is his maternal [sister] – he must divorce her, but if she is his paternal [sister], he may keep her, as there is no paternity for idolaters.30According to the Sages, the halakha does not recognize a connection between a person and his father if they are “Noahides,” that is, non-Jews. They raised an objection to him [Rabbi Meir]: But is it not written [regarding Abraham and Sarah]: “And also, indeed, she is my sister, the daughter of my father, [but not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife]”? (Genesis 20:12).31The implication is that it is permissible for a Noahide to marry his sister from his father’s side, but not a sister from his mother’s side, in accordance with the view of the Sages. He said to them: He [Abraham] answered them32The Philistines, to whom he was speaking. according to their own opinion.33In Philistine culture this distinction was made, but not according to halakha. Rabbi Meir raised an objection to them: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother.”34This is understood to mean that a man may not marry his relatives, and it mentions both mother and father. Rabbi Yoḥanan said: They explained it to him: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother” – one who is related to his father or related to his mother.35One may not marry his aunt, whether it is his father’s sister or his mother’s sister. But the definition of sister is still only a maternal sister. Rabbi Abahu raised an objection [to Rabbi Meir]: But is it not written: “Amram took Yokheved his aunt [as his wife]” (Exodus 6:20)?36Yokheved was the sister of Kehat, Amram’s father. Yokheved and Kehat had a common father, Levi, but they may have had different mothers. Rabbi Shimon son of Rabbi Abahu said: If it is so [as Rabbi Meir says], before the giving of the Torah Israel did not observe the law even according to the standards of Noahides? This is astonishing. Rabbi Levi said: They explained it to him: “Therefore, a man shall leave [his father and his mother]…” – one who is related to his father or related to his mother.37This explanation was mentioned earlier, and is an exposition of the Sages’ view that the verse is referring to one’s aunts, but in any event only maternal sisterhood is recognized, not paternal sisterhood. The Midrash does not answer the question posed to Rabbi Meir concerning Amram; see commentaries. Rabbi Abahu said in the name of Rabbi Yoḥanan: Noahides incur liability [for committing adultery] for [consorting with] married women but are exempt for [consorting with] betrothed women.38If a woman is betrothed to a man, and another man has relations with her, it is not considered adultery for Noahides. Betrothal is not considered a marital relationship for Noahides. Rabbi Yona said in the name of Rabbi Shmuel: A promiscuous woman39An unmarried woman who consorts with many different men. who is standing in the marketplace, and two men had relations with her, the first man is exempt,40He did not commit adultery. and the second incurs liability, because she is now “a woman who has had relations with a man” (Genesis 20:3).41This is the literal translation of be’ulat ba’al (Genesis 20:3), which is usually rendered “a man’s wife.” In any event, it is the definition of a woman who may not consort with another man, as that would constitute adultery. But did the first one intend to acquire her through intercourse?42How can a woman be considered married as a result of a non-committal act of intercourse? This shows that regarding Noahides, intercourse with a woman [even with no intent of marriage] effects acquisition [of her as a wife], which is not in accordance with the law [regarding Jews].43The law regarding Jews is that marriage cannot be effected without intent. What is the law regarding divorce for them [Noahides]? Rabbi Yehuda ben Rabbi Simon and Rabbi Ḥanin said in the name of Rabbi Yoḥanan: Either they have no divorce, or each one must divorce the other.44This is derived from “He shall cleave to his wife.” Neither partner may dissolve the union unilaterally. Rabbi Yoḥanan [later] said: His wife may divorce him, and she pays him double the marriage contract.45According to all opinions, the divorce proceedings of Noahides are unlike those between Jews. Rabbi Ḥiyya taught: An idolater who divorced his wife and she went and married another, and both of them46The first husband and the woman. went and converted to Judaism, [and the first husband wants to remarry her,] I do not apply regarding him the verse: “Her first husband, who divorced her, [may not take her again to be a wife for him]” (Deuteronomy 24:4).47The prohibition against remarrying one’s wife after she has been married to another man in between applies only when the first marriage was dissolved by a divorce recognized by halakha, but marriages among Noahides are not dissolved by a halakhic divorce procedure, as was just explained. Rabbi Aḥa said in the name of Rabbi Ḥanina bar Pappa: In the entire book of Malachi “The Lord of hosts” is written, but here [in the following verse], “God of Israel” is written, as it is stated: “For I hate divorce, said the Lord, the God of Israel” (Malachi 2:16). It is, as it were, that He associates His name [regarding divorce] only to Israel. Rabbi Ḥagai said: When Israel returned from the [Babylonian] exile, the women’s faces had become darkened in the sun,48On the long trek to the Land of Yisrael. and they [their husbands] would abandon them and go and marry Amonite women. They49The Israelite women. would circle the altar and weep [about this cruel treatment]. This is what Malachi says: “This is the second sin that you do” (Malachi 2:13) – the second, after Shitim.50There the Israelites sinned with the daughters of Moav (Numbers 25:1). “Covering the altar of the Lord with tears, weeping and moaning, [causing Him to no longer accept your offerings or receive them with favor from your hands … because the Lord is witness between you and the wife of your youth, whom you have betrayed]” (Malachi 2:13–14) – the Holy One blessed be He said: ‘Who could accept [offerings] from them, due to the weeping and moaning [that they caused to their wives]? After you robbed, stole, and took her beauty from her, you send her away? That is shocking.’ From where is it derived that it is prohibited for them [Noahides] to engage in illicit sexual relations? It is as it is stated: “And he shall cleave to his wife” – but not to the wife of another, not to a male, and not to an animal. Rabbi Shmuel, Rabbi Abahu, and Rabbi Elazar said in the name of Rabbi Ḥanina: A Noahide who has unnatural intercourse with his wife incurs liability for the death penalty. Rabbi Asi said: Any prohibition that is written regarding Noahides is neither a [mere] positive mitzva nor a [mere] negative prohibition, but one that incurs the death penalty. How does one arrive at this?51What Rabbi Shmuel et al. said. “And he shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” – in the place that they can produce one flesh [a child].
