We get a glimpse into that, and a whole lot more about marriage, divorce, and forbidden relationships in this fascinating passage from Bereshit Rabbah 18.
It all starts with the famous verse from Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” But this isn't just a sweet sentiment. The rabbis of the Midrash, in Bereshit Rabbah, dive deep, extracting laws and ethical considerations that ripple outwards, even touching on the laws applicable to B'nei Noah, the Children of Noah – non-Jews.
One of the first questions that arises is about a convert who was married to his sister before converting. Rabbi Meir says he must divorce her. But the Sages disagree, drawing a distinction: if she's his maternal sister, yes, divorce is required. But a paternal sister? He can stay married because, according to the Sages, non-Jews don't have legally recognized paternity! That’s quite a statement.
This leads to a debate, naturally. The Sages bring up Abraham and Sarah: “And also, indeed, she is my sister, the daughter of my father, [but not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife]” (Genesis 20:12). The implication? Maybe it's okay for non-Jews to marry paternal sisters. Rabbi Meir, however, isn't convinced. He counters with our original verse, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother,” arguing that it implies a general prohibition against marrying relatives.
Rabbi Yochanan tries to smooth things over, suggesting the verse simply means one can't marry an aunt, whether paternal or maternal. But the discussion keeps going. Rabbi Abahu throws another curveball: “Amram took Yokheved his aunt [as his wife]” (Exodus 6:20). Yokheved was Amram’s father’s sister! Was that allowed?
Rabbi Shimon son of Rabbi Abahu then asks a pointed question: are we saying that before the Torah was given, the Israelites weren't even following the basic Noahide laws? It's a pretty astonishing thought!
The conversation then shifts to Noahide law more broadly. Rabbi Abahu, quoting Rabbi Yochanan, states that non-Jews are liable for adultery with a married woman, but not with a betrothed woman. Betrothal, in this context, isn't considered a full marital bond for non-Jews.
Rabbi Yona, in the name of Rabbi Shmuel, adds another layer of complexity. Imagine a promiscuous woman in the marketplace. Two men sleep with her. Who's committed adultery? According to this, the second man is liable, because she's now considered "a woman who has had relations with a man” (Genesis 20:3). The first man gets off scot-free. But this raises a huge question: does a single act of intercourse, without any intent of marriage, create a marital bond for non-Jews? Apparently, it does!
What about divorce for non-Jews? Rabbi Yehuda ben Rabbi Simon and Rabbi Hanin, again in the name of Rabbi Yochanan, suggest two possibilities: either they can’t divorce at all, or they both have to agree. Rabbi Yochanan later revises this, saying the woman can divorce her husband, but she has to pay him double the marriage contract!
Rabbi Hiyya offers a fascinating case: an idolater divorces his wife, she marries another man, and then both of them convert to Judaism. Can the first husband remarry her? The answer is yes. The prohibition against remarrying a divorced woman who's been with another man only applies to divorces recognized by Jewish law.
The Midrash then takes a somber turn, quoting Malachi: “For I hate divorce, said the Lord, the God of Israel” (Malachi 2:16). Rabbi Acha points out that in this verse, God is specifically called “God of Israel,” as if to say that His association with divorce is particularly connected to the Jewish people. Rabbi Hagai connects this to the Israelites returning from Babylonian exile, abandoning their wives for foreign women, and the pain and suffering this caused.
Finally, the passage returns to the fundamental prohibition against illicit sexual relations for non-Jews. How do we know it's forbidden for them? From the verse, “And he shall cleave to his wife” – implying that he shouldn't cleave to anyone else's wife, or to a male, or to an animal. Rabbi Shmuel, Rabbi Abahu, and Rabbi Elazar, in the name of Rabbi Hanina, even say that a non-Jew who engages in unnatural intercourse with his wife is liable for the death penalty.
It's a lot to take in, isn't it? What begins as a simple verse about marriage unfolds into a complex web of laws, ethics, and social commentary. It forces us to consider the very nature of marriage, divorce, and the boundaries of permissible relationships, not just for Jews, but for all of humanity. It makes you wonder: how much of our understanding of these things is shaped by our own traditions, and how much is truly universal? And what responsibilities do we have to each other, regardless of our backgrounds? That, perhaps, is the question that this ancient text leaves us pondering.