King David certainly did. In the ancient text Tanna DeBei Eliyahu Rabbah, we hear David, may his memory be a blessing, express this very sentiment: "My fear is within my joy, and my joy is within my fear; and my love ascends above them all." What a powerful statement! It speaks to the complex tapestry of human emotion and the delicate balance we strive for.
But David doesn't stop there. He connects this feeling to his relationship with God, saying that the Holy One, blessed be He, made a covenant with him, ensuring his proficiency in all aspects of Torah – Scripture, Mishnah (oral law), laws, and aggadahs (non-legal rabbinic narrative) (stories and legends). He bases this on the verse in (2 Samuel 23:5), "For is not my house so with God? For He has made an everlasting covenant with me, ordered in all things, and sure…" The text emphasizes that this "covenant" is the Torah itself, referencing (Malachi 2:5), "My covenant was with him, life and peace."
So, what does it mean to be proficient in Torah? Well, it's more than just knowing the words. It's about living them, embodying them. And here's where things get interesting. The text then delves into the idea of the Torah scholar and their sustenance. It poses a thought-provoking question: if God loves the Torah, why doesn't He always make sure that those who study it are wealthy?
The answer? It's a matter of balance. Too much wealth, and a scholar might become arrogant, presumptuous, and forget the true source of their wisdom. As King Solomon wisely asks in (Proverbs 30:8-9), "Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full, and deny You, and say: 'Who is the Lord?' Or lest I be poor, and steal, and profane the name of my God." It’s a constant negotiation, a prayer for just the right amount.
This concept of divine selection extends through generations. The text continues, "Blessed is He who chose the Torah and the Talmud (and the Sages), and their disciples, and the disciples of their disciples, and their children, and the children of their children, until the end of all generations…" It's a beautiful image of a lineage dedicated to learning and upholding the Torah. God sees into their hearts, and they, in turn, ensure the Torah isn't forgotten. This echoes the promise in (Isaiah 59:21): "My spirit that is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart out of your mouth, nor out of the mouth of your seed, nor out of the mouth of your seed's seed."
But what about those who aren't so dedicated? The text contrasts this with the "sons of rebellious Israel," who are "soft" in their youth but "hard" in their old age. It's a stark reminder that spiritual growth requires consistent effort. Ignoring that effort, according to this passage, has consequences.
The text then offers a fascinating perspective on the future, suggesting that aspects of the Messianic Age and the World to Come are already present in our world, albeit in small measures. It speaks of a future session in God's study hall, where the righteous will sit before Him. But it adds that David, King of Israel, has already illuminated his face with halachah (Jewish religious law) (Jewish law) before the righteous in this world. We get glimpses of this future world through the lives of figures like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and through events like the resurrections performed by Elijah and Elisha.
This idea culminates in the promise of a future filled with honor, strength, eating, drinking, joy, and, most importantly, peace. But even these blessings have echoes in our current reality, found in the acts of righteousness and peace we strive for in our own lives.
So, what does all this mean for us today? Perhaps it's a reminder to embrace the complexities of life, to find joy even in the face of fear, and to dedicate ourselves to a path of learning and growth. It's a call to seek balance, to avoid the extremes of arrogance and despair, and to strive for a world where peace and righteousness prevail. And, maybe, just maybe, to catch a glimpse of the World to Come in the acts of kindness and compassion we perform each day.
David, King (may his memory be blessed), further said: "My fear is within my joy, and my joy is within my fear; and my love ascends above them all. Therefore, the Holy One, blessed be He, made a covenant with me that I should be proficient in the Scripture, in the Mishnah, in the laws, and in the aggadahs, as it is said, 'For is not my house so with God? For He has made an everlasting covenant with me, ordered in all things, and sure; for all my salvation, and all my desire, will He not make it to grow' (2 Samuel 23). And there is no covenant but the Torah, as it is said, 'My covenant was with him, life and peace' (Malachi 2). Ordered in all things, in the Scripture, in the Mishnah, in the laws, in the aggadahs, and protection, so that the words of Torah should be preserved by me forever and for all eternity. "For all my salvation and all my desire, will He not make it to grow." From here they said: Every Torah scholar who increases in Torah study and does not derive sustenance much, it is a good sign for him. And if you say, 'If the Holy One, blessed be He, loves His Torah, why does He not sustain him?' You should say that if He enriches him, he may become presumptuous about the words of Torah. Therefore, every Torah scholar who increases in Torah study and does bring-in much produce (wealth), it is a good sign for him, for the Holy One, blessed be He, loves his Torah, that if He enriches him, he may become presumptuous about the words of Torah. And this is explicitly stated in the Kabbalah by Solomon, King of Israel: 'Two things I ask of You; deny them not to me before I die: Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me' (Proverbs 30). 'Lest I be full, and deny You, and say: "Who is the Lord?" Or lest I be poor, and steal, and profane the name of my God' (Proverbs 30). Blessed is He who chose the Torah and the Talmud (and the Sages), and their disciples, and the disciples of their disciples, and their children, and the children of their children, until the end of all generations, and He establishes upon them the measure with which a man measures, it is measured unto him. Just as they sit in synagogues and study halls and in every open place, and read for the sake of heaven, and He sees into their hearts, and they uphold the Torah according to its prescriptions, so that they do not forget it from their mouths and from the mouths of their children and the children of their children forever. So did the Holy One, blessed be He, choose them and their children and the children of their children until the end of time, as it is said: 'And I will make My covenant between Me and you, and I will multiply you exceedingly' (Genesis 17). So said the Lord, 'My spirit that is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart out of your mouth, nor out of the mouth of your seed, nor out of the mouth of your seed's seed,' said the Lord, 'from henceforth and forever' (Isaiah 59). But the sons of rebellious Israel are not like this. In their youth they are soft, and in their old age they are hard. What does the Holy One, blessed be He, do when they are still soft? He raises them up and burns them in the great study hall and in His great yeshiva, [as it is said: 'And all the wicked shall be stubble, and the day that comes shall set them ablaze' (Malachi 3). For none of them shall have a hand to bear or a hand to lay down, but every man's sword shall be against his brother's, and he shall burn the chariots with fire' (Zechariah 9). And there is none but the wicked], as it is said: 'And the sons of Belial said: "What shall this one save us?" And they despised him and brought him no present' (1 Samuel 10). And it says: 'And every man of Belial said: "What will this one save us?"' (1 Samuel 10). The Sages said: Anything that is destined to occur in the end has already been done in part today. There shall be a session for the Holy One, blessed be He, in His study hall, and the righteous of all time shall sit before Him, There has already been a part of the session for the righteous in this world for David, King of Israel, who illuminated his face with the halachah before the righteous who sat before him. And so it will be in the future for the righteous, whose lives will be without sorrow and without the evil inclination, to live with the son of David in this world. And in the World to Come, there has already been a part of life without sorrow and without the evil inclination for the righteous, such as Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and Jabez, and Jether, and all who are like them. In the future, the Holy One, blessed be He, will resurrect the dead, whether in the time of the son of David or in the World to Come, for there has already been a part of the resurrection of the dead in this world by the hand of the righteous, Elijah and Elisha, and Ezekiel son of Buzi. In the future, there will be honor and strength for the righteous in the World to Come, for there has already been a part of honor and strength for the righteous in this world, such as Jehoshaphat, King of Judah. In the future, there will be eating, drinking, and joy for the righteous. And there will be no plague nor suffering nor distress, for there has already been a part of eating, drinking, and joy for the righteous in this world. In the future, the Holy One, blessed be He, will make peace among the righteous and among His people Israel, for there has already been a part of peace in this world by the hand of the righteous.
