This week, we're diving into a fascinating passage from Shemot Rabbah, a compilation of rabbinic interpretations on the Book of Exodus, specifically Shemot Rabbah 27. It uses the story of Yitro, Moses' father-in-law, to explore the nature of true friendship and kinship.

The text opens with the verse: "Yitro, priest of Midian, father-in-law of Moses, heard everything that God had performed on behalf of Moses and Israel His people, that the Lord had taken Israel out of Egypt" (Exodus 18:1). Then, it immediately connects this to a verse from Proverbs: “Do not forsake your friend, and your father’s friend. Do not enter your brother’s house on the day of your calamity. A close neighbor is better than a distant brother” (Proverbs 27:10).

Who are these "friends" the verse mentions? The Midrash, this style of interpretive storytelling, identifies "your friend" as none other than the Holy One, blessed be He, citing the verse "For the sake of My brothers and friends" (Psalms 122:8). Isn't that a beautiful idea? God as a friend. And "your father's friend" is identified as Abraham, referred to as "the descendants of Abraham My beloved" (Isaiah 41:8).

The Midrash then takes a sharp turn, cautioning us, "Do not forsake." If you do, "do not enter your brother’s house on the day of your calamity," referring to Ishmael and Esau. The commentary Etz Yosef explains this to mean that even in times of suffering, Israel should not abandon its identity and seek refuge with these "brothers."

Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi offers a powerful image: when Nebuchadnezzar exiled Israel to Babylon, their hands were bound behind them, as described in Midrash Eikha (Lamentations Rabbah) 2:4, until "they wandered due to swords" (Isaiah 21:15). God then rebukes Ishmael, reminding him that God saved Ishmael in the wilderness (Genesis 21:19), yet Ishmael caused the Israelites to die of thirst (Lamentations Rabbah 2:4).

This leads to the powerful statement: "a close neighbor is better than a distant brother." And who is that neighbor? It's Yitro.

The Midrash contrasts Yitro, who wasn’t even related to Israel, with Esau, Jacob’s own brother. It highlights how Yitro's actions demonstrated true kinship, while Esau’s actions were destructive.

Consider this: Saul tells the Kenites, descendants of Yitro (Judges 1:16), to "Go, depart, descend from among the Amalekites, lest I destroy you with them, for you showed kindness to all the children of Israel when they ascended from Egypt" (I Samuel 15:6). Conversely, regarding Esau, it is written: "Remember what Amalek did to you…" (Deuteronomy 25:17). Amalek, of course, being a descendant of Esau.

The Midrash continues this contrast, listing examples: Esau's descendants "tormented women in Zion" (Lamentations 5:11), while Yitro "gave Tzipora, his daughter, to him as a wife" (Exodus 2:21). Esau’s descendants "devour my people as if eating bread" (Psalms 14:4), but Yitro is told, "Call him and let him eat bread" (Exodus 2:20). Esau was "not God-fearing" (Deuteronomy 25:18), while Yitro is told, "And God will command you" (Exodus 18:23), referring to Yitro's wise advice to Moses about establishing a judicial system.

Esau’s legacy is further tarnished by the association of Rome, who destroyed the Temple, with him. In contrast, "Yitro, Moses’s father-in-law, took a burnt-offering and feast-offerings" (Exodus 18:12). Esau heard of Israel’s departure and waged war (Exodus 17:8), while "Yitro…heard Israel’s praise and came and joined them."

So, what can we take away from this? It's a powerful reminder that kinship isn't always about blood relation. It's about actions, about support, and about celebrating each other's successes. Yitro, the outsider, becomes the true friend, while Esau, the brother, represents betrayal and animosity. It challenges us to examine our own relationships. Who are our true neighbors? Who celebrates with us? And who do we choose to stand by, even when times are tough?